Think Upon These Things

"Held"

2012-01-01T20:48:00.000-08:00

"Held," dedicated to Isaac

To be held is a secure thing.

It is comforting,

and it feels safe.

This week I have been held,

both by human arms

but mostly by divine.

I have experienced the deepest security imaginable.

I am held:

always,

constantly,

lovingly.

I am held:

held safe in the arms of God.

No hurricane-force can pull me free;

no plague can touch me there;

and nothing can snatch me away.

I am held.

Original composition, January 2012.

A Good Christmas Prayer

2011-12-24T11:05:00.001-08:00

Valley of Vision- The Gift of Gifts

O Source of all Good,
What shall I render to Thee for the gift of gifts,
Thine own dear Son, begotten, not created,
my Redeemer, Proxy, Surety, Substitute,
His self-emptying incomprehensible,
His infinity of love beyond the heart's grasp.

Herein is wonder of wonders:
He came below to raise me above,
He was born like me that I might become like Him.

Herein is love;
when I cannot rise to Him He draws near on wings of grace,
to raise me to Himself.

Herein is power;
when Deity and humanity were infinitely apart
He united them in indissoluble unity, the uncreated and the created.

Herein is wisdom;
when I was undone, with no will to return to Him,
and no intellect to devise recovery,
He came, God-incarnate, to save me to the uttermost,
as man to die my death,
to shed satisfying blood on my behalf,
to work out a perfect righteousness for me.

O God, take me in spirit to the watchful shepherds,
and enlarge my mind;
let me hear good tidings of great joy,
and hearing, believe, rejoice, praise, adore,
my conscience bathed in an ocean of repose,
my eyes uplifted to a reconciled Father,
place me with ox, donkey, camel, goat,
to look with them upon my Redeemer's face,
and in Him account myself delivered from sin;
let me with Simeon clasp the new-born Child to my heart,
embrace Him with undying faith,
exulting that He is mine and I am His.

In Him Thou hast given me so much that heaven can give no more.

[Arthur Bennett, ed., The Valley of Vision (Edinburgh: The Banner of Truth Trust, 2002), 28-29.]

Paper Blockade

2011-10-28T16:18:00.000-07:00

I know they are outdated, but remember those over-head transparency projectors? The thing that always made me laugh about them was that you could block the view with a simple piece of white printer paper.

Sometimes the hardest blockade for me to break down to spend time with God like I know I should is a flimsy little piece of paper. It's my to-do list. It tells me, "Evaluate your topical message," "Write your journal for BibFund," "Study for those three exams," and of course "Don't forget that phone date!"

I wonder how often our view of God's glory and His plan for our lives is obstructed by that piece of paper... the same way the light of the projector is entirely blotted out... by a thin, weak, paper blockade.

Heaven

2011-10-21T22:15:00.000-07:00

This semester I am taking Message Prep for Women with Betty Price. I am not sure if it has been my toughest class, but it has been pretty close. It is kind of unnerving knowing that for four class periods you are going to show up and teaching your class, even if it is just a handful of girls that you've gotten to know really well!

I am speaking in class on Wednesday on one of my favourite topics: heaven. I picked this topic about two weeks ago. Since then, an eighteen-month old from my hometown fell into a pond right by my house and drowned. This week, I was at the hospital with one of my friends just minutes after her friends' two-year old died after a brief but terrible battle with leukemia. Even now, my favourite professor's wife is in the hospital on bed-rest, and their unborn child might not survive. Death is all around us. The irony of speaking on heaven at a time like this has caused me to recognise even more that God is sovereign. He knew when I picked my topic that death would be at my doorstep as a constant challenge to my joy. He knew that I needed to be reminded of the rest that awaits the weary righteous.

What is heaven like? That's tricky to answer, because the Bible almost always refers to it metaphorically. Heaven is like this or that, or heaven means that this or that will be true. Here are a list of 11 such biblical metaphors. I urge you to read these descriptions thoughtfully. Rejoice in the inheritance that is yours!!

1) Job 3:17 describes heaven as a place of rest.

2) Psalm 16:11 and 1 Thessalonians 4:17 remind us that heaven is the place where God is present.

3) Psalm 16:11 and Colossians 3:1-4 (as well as other places) remind us that heaven is a place where pleasures are found forever more at God's right hand, and Jesus is also at God's right hand.

4) Psalm 23:6 and John 14:2 refer to heaven as the house of the LORD or the house of teh Father, where we will dwell forever.

5) Heaven is often referred to as the place of God's glory. See Psalm 73:23-26, Colossians 3:1-4, and 2 Thessalonians 2:12.

6) Ephesians 1:18 refers to heaven as a place of hope, and heaven is the glorious inheritance (cf. Colossians 1:12) of the saints.

7) Colossians 3:1-4 twice refers to heaven as the place that is above, in contrast to the earth below.

8) 2 Thessalonians 2:12 and 2 Peter 1:11 acknowledge that heaven is God's kingdom, and since believers are destined for that kingdom, they should make an effort to walk worthy of that citizenship commitment to heaven.

9) Hebrews 10:34 call heaven the better and abiding possession which will belong to all who suffer the loss of their physical possessions for the sake of Jesus.

10) Hebrews 11:10 has an interesting description of heaven. The author calls it a city that has foundations, whose designer and builder is God. I hate cities; they are often cesspools of wickedness... but heaven is a city designed and built by God. Pretty sure I'm going to love that city!

11) Later on in Hebrews 11:16, the author terms heaven a better and heavenly country, a homeland for all those who were exiles on this earth who faithfully followed God.

Another major question answered in the Scriptures about heaven is, who goes there? Who inhabits this city built by God? Who lives in the many rooms in the Father's house? Scripture delights in answering this question for us in at least 15 unique ways. As you read this, carefully evaluate yourself. Have these terms every been applied to you? Granted, not all of them should apply directly (I hope no one has ever called you Asaph, especially if you're a female; that would be slightly insane), but the thought behind them all should be. Also, note that above all, God is already there. If you are not both thrilled and terrified by the thought of spending eternity with God our Maker, chances are you won't, because you aren't one of His children. Check out 1 Corinthains 6:9-11 and Revelation 21:8 for a detailed list of those who for sure won't be in heaven.

1) The righteous (Job 3:17)

2) The holy one, specifically David/Jesus (Psalm 16:11)

3) The Lord's sheep, specifically David (Psalm 23:6)

4) Specifically Asaph, but anyone who is not wicked (Psalm 73:23-26)

5) The disciples/seventy-two (Luke 10:20, John 14:2)

6) Those sealed with the Spirit (2 Corinthians 5:1-5)

7) Saints (Ephesians 1:18, Philippians 3:20, Colossians 1:5, 12)

8) Those who have been raised with Christ (Colossians 3:1-4)

9) Those who have turned from idols to God (2 Thessalonians 2:12)

10) The dead in Christ and all who meet him in the air (1 Thessalonians 4:16 & 17)

11) Persecuted believers (Hebrews 10:34)

12) Abraham (Hebrews 11:10)

13) Old Testament saints (Hebrews 11:16)

14) Elect exiles (1 Peter 1:4)

15) Those who have obtained a faith of equal standing (2 Peter 1:11)

If in reading this list of fifteen descriptions, you have been convicted that you do not match up with them, but you want to know how you can be sure of an eternity in heaven, I encourage you to e-mail me at ednella.godfollower@gmail.com. I would be more than happy to explain salvation to you on a deeper level. The basic gospel message, however, is simple: repentance and belief. Admit that you are a sinner who has broken God's laws, turn from your wickedness, and confess with your mouth and believe in your heart that Jesus is Lord. That is what it takes to become a child of the king and have heaven for your inheritance.

Accepting that gospel seems simple on the outside, but it requires a changed life. Colossians 3, 1 Thessalonians 2:11-12, and 2 Peter 1:1-11 talk about this. Colossians perhaps is the most thorough in dealing with this issue of how to live in light of heaven.

Colossians begins, as most epistles do, with a lengthy prayer by Paul that encompasses most of the first chapter. He begins by praising God for the Colossians' salvation, and then turns to praising Christ. He concludes the first chapter by describing his ministry in the church at Colossae, which segues into the second chapter, which reiterates his prayer for the church's unity and love. Paul makes statements similar to those recorded in Galatians, warning the Colossians of the Judaizer's legalism, which would try to take them captive to tradition. Why is Paul so upset about this? Because the Colossians have already died to the sway these traditions and regulations once had over their lives. Compared to the Spirit, rules are useless. The Colossians, Paul insists, have died with Christ and have been raised with Him, so they should do two things: seek the things that are above, and set their minds on things that are above, not on things that are on earth. What should they do with the things on earth? Colossians 3:5 says to put them to death. Verses 12-17 tell them what things they should put on--things fitting for godly character. The section to follow (3:18-4:1) give further instructions for how believers ought to live in a family context. The lifestyle of a person headed for heaven couldn't be more clearly presented. No detail has been omitted. In fact, the whole Bible was written for that purpose.

My hope is that in writing this, I have communicated to you how Scripture describes heaven in many ways, how it describes its current and future inhabitants, and how you should live as a person headed for heaven. My hope is that in reading this, you feel a new and fresh passion for heaven as a place where you will be united with God for all eternity. I ask you now to evaluate your desire for heaven. What is it motivated by? What do you expect from heaven? Do you long for it at all? How will what you know about heaven change your everyday life as a believer in Jesus Christ?

From the dust of the Rabbi,

~Camille

Outreach Week =(

2011-10-04T14:38:00.001-07:00

So, I'm not going to Union Rescue Mission for Outreach Week after all. I'm staying in my dorm room getting over a cold.

"If you want to make God laugh, tell Him your plans." (From the movie, Bella)

The Things God Can't Do

2011-10-04T14:32:00.001-07:00

Aren't you thankful there are things God can't do? Life would be a pretty sorry wreck if God could sin. Temptation would be as irresistible as grace is if God put temptation into our lives. Who would we turn to if God sometimes lied? What if He made burdens we couldn't bear... or burdens He couldn't bear? I am thankful God can't reject me after He has already elected me, that He can't let me go once He has put me in the palm of His hand.

I am thankful, not that I have a God who can do anything, but that I have a God who is unerringly consistent with His character as revealed in His word.

Outreach Week! =)

2011-10-03T23:06:00.000-07:00

By way of announcement, I will not be on Facebook much (if any at all) from Wednesday through Sunday because I will be off-campus for Outreach Week. I am going to Inner City L.A. to work in a rescue mission on Skid Row with a team of several others from my school. Please, please be praying for us! As best as I can remember, my team members are...

Abby

John Mark

Sergio

Kyle

Cate

Lindsay

Preston

Mollie

Pray for good health. I'm getting over a wicked-bad sore throat and now I have a cold.

Pray for the weather to be good. We're sleeping outside on top of a roof, so it'd be nice not to be flooded into oblivion.

Pray for Gospel opportunities among the people we'll be serving.

Pray for team unity.

Also, if you are from TMC and you are going on Outreach Week somewhere else, please comment and let me know where you're going! I'm going to be praying for as many of you as I can be!

If you need to contact me, message me and I will send you my number. And I don't/won't have texting, so just keep that in mind. I am going to try to send out e-mail updates if I can, but I'm leaving Woodpecker in my room, so don't count on it. A daily e-mail to my family to tell them I'm alive might be all that happens :) Message me if you want to be on that list, along with an address.

From the dust of the Rabbi,

~Camille

Tozer on Technology

2011-09-29T08:54:00.001-07:00

In my most-recent post, I gave you a tiny glimpse into some of my thoughts about technology. As I was reading Tozer's The Pursuit of God for my BibFund homework, I came across a slice of his take on technology and how it has changed the world in which we live. Listen to what he says.

A generation of Christians reared among push buttons and automatic machines is impatient of slower and less direct methods of reaching their goals. We have been trying to apply machine-age methods to our relationship with God. We read our chapter, have our short devotions and rush away, hoping to make up for our deep inward bankruptcy by attending another gospel meeting or listening to another thrilling story told by a religious adventurer lately returned from afar.

The tragic result of this spirit are all about us: shallow lives, hollow religious philosophies, the preponderance of the element of fun in gospel meetings, the glorification of men, trust in religious externalities, quasi-religious fellowships, salesmanship methods, the mistaking of dynamic personality for the power of the Spirit. These and such as these are the symptoms of an evil disease, a deep and serious malady of the soul.

The Pursuit of God was published in 1949. If Tozer believed the problem to be that serious then, how much more so is it now, where technological distractions lead to shallow thinking and thus shallow living? (Yes, I stole that from Challies' chapel message yesterday. I admit it.)

So slow down. Unplug. Breath. Don't just "do your time for Jesus." Meditate, ruminate, and cultivate. ♪ Shut out the world and all it's distractions, all of it's noise and empty attractions. ♪

From the dust of the Rabbi,

~Nella Camille

P.S. I got to meet Challies on Tuesday night. :)

Tim Challies and Social Media

2011-09-26T14:15:00.000-07:00

*Ding!* Every time I hear that toaster-oven-esque noise, I know a text has come through. I've heard that noise an average of 80 times a day, seven days a week, for about two months now. Why? Because me and Isaac are "texting buddies."

Sure, we're best friends in real life, too, but because of the two-thousand odd miles of corn fields, mountains, lakes, and desert between us, texting is our primary form of communication. It's free (for me; he has to pay a phone bill, but it's worth it, I'm pretty sure). It's fast (better than letters!). It's fun. But there's always something missing. When he's concerned about me, I might read his text and think he's frustrated. When I'm busy, he might notice my short and infrequent text and think I'm ignoring him. Something is missing, and it's something big.

Tim Challies preached on communication today in chapel, and I also attended a Q & A by him directly afterwards. And as I was sitting there, hearing about how easy it is to communicate quickly, I was thinking about my various friendships. Keeping in touch with Isaac is easy, so long as I have an Internet connection (I text through Google Voice). Some of my other friends... well, not so much. Some I talk to on the phone once a week or once every two weeks. Others I write a letter once a week, or once a month. And, of course, my mom calls me once every day or two. But all those friendships are different than the ones I enjoy face-to-face.

"I miss you." Isaac and I say that all the time. Why do we miss one another? We're always talking, so we shouldn't miss one another. Literally. I'm texting him right now as I write this post. (*Ding!*) But we both realise that our relationship is limited, not just because of the miles, but because of the medium of communication. Texting will never ever replace walking into his front door and screaming cause I'm so happy to see him. And the Internet and social media will never replace my friends. And God help us if we ever think that the 'fellowship' we enjoy online will replace our need for the local church.

So what are you waiting for? Shut your laptop screen and go talk to your roommate, spouse, siblings, friends, and family members. They will be thankful, and you will be, too.

From the dust of the Rabbi,

~Nella Camille

What I Learned from a Lesson on Genitive Constructs

2011-09-25T21:47:00.000-07:00

Please, don't skip this post because you have no idea what the title means. Please?

And, if you know more about Hebrew than I do and I make a mistake, please let me know in the comment section!

So, on Friday in Introduction to Biblical Languages, Dr. Chou was teaching us about the basics of grammar, focusing specifically on constructs. The kinds we covered were subjective, objective, possessive, source, product, descriptive, and partitive. Now, I forget which case he was talking about (my best shot in the dark is possessive, because that seems to make the most logical sense), but he was talking about how sometimes instead of translating the construct into an "of" phrase they will sometimes be translated into "my" phrases. For instance, the difference between "the blood of my Redeemer" (awkward in English) and "my Redeemer's blood." The Redeemer Himself owns the blood, but He is our Redeemer, so in some sense, His blood is also ours. The possessives in this case do not mean that we dominate over them; rather, we are subject to them.

I know I'm probably not explaining this very well, but the light bulb went on for me when I started taking this Hebrew grammatical context and applying it to modern worship songs. Some people take issue with all the possessive singular pronouns used in contemporary music. I do sometimes if the possessive singular pronouns are used in ways that lend themselves to poor theology, but thinking about some of these "shallow" songs in light of Hebrew grammar really changed my thinking.

For instance, think of Psalm 62. The chorus goes like this:

Oh, praise Him! Hallelujah, my Delight and my Reward.
Everlasting, never failing, my Redeemer, my God.

This could be perceived to be a shall0w, self-centered song if these lines were taken out of context. (Listen to the whole song. Right now. Just do it. It's amazing. I even linked to it above, so you have no excuse.) BUT, when taken in context, and when understood properly, they are beautiful.

Think about it this way. Aaron Keyes is not saying, "God is all mine! My own, my precious!" like some kind of Christianized Gollum. His words are words of Yahweh-worship, not self-praise! He isn't saying, "Oh, I'm so wonderful that God rewards me with Himself!" He is saying, "God, You have made me Your child, and because of that, You reward me with Yourself. That is why I say hallelujah!" But songs can't communicate everything we need or want them too. They must be lacking on some areas, or they'd be theology texts instead of songs. So, this is what the expanded version of the song goes like in my head.

Oh, praise Him! Hallelujah! You are the delight and reward promised to me!
Everlasting, never failing, You redeem my sins, so You are Lord over me!

So, next time you see an "of" phrase or a "my" phrase... think about genitive constructs. Think especially deeply about the possessive ones and how they humble us in light of God's greatness, goodness, and superiority to us, His creatures.

From the dust of the Rabbi,

~Camille

P.S. I apologise if this made no sense to anyone who has not taken any Hebrew. I tried to make it clear... but I'm still wrapping my mind around it myself.

What Does It Take To Pursue God's Excellence? (Public Speaking)

2011-09-24T13:42:00.000-07:00

Hey, all!

So, I had to read this book Speak Up With Confidence by Carol Kent for Message Prep for Women. Not the greatest book in the world (I actually don't recommend it) but while writing my report on it, I did find one gem that I wanted to share with you. This is from Chapter 8 "Pursue Excellence" on pp. 153-154 of the book.

Pray for God's guidance in the choice of topic, the place of ministry, and your motive for speaking.
Confess all known sin.
Be an example of the believers in your home, your business, and your social life.
Study the Bible consistently. Read God's instructions and requirements for spiritual leaders and teachers.
Realize that you are simply a vehicle for God's message.
Prepare your message early. Interruptions often come at the last minute, and God is honored when we plan ahead instead of expecting Him to "come through" for us because we procrastinated.
Depend on God's power, not your own wit, education, or natural ability.

These basic principles (prayer, confession, exemplary living, study, recognition, preparation, and dependency) can be applied to anything - not just speaking - so I'm pretty sure I'm going to print these out and put them in my message prep binder.

Thoughts, anyone? :)

From the dust of our Rabbi,

~Nella Camille

The Sins I Most Often Commit

2011-09-22T20:12:00.001-07:00

Dear Abba,

Please forgive me for the sins which I most often commit.

You have said in Your word, "Do not be anxious about your life," (Luke 12:22) and I am anxious daily. You instructed your church, "Fear not, little flock," (Luke 12:32) and I am fearful of man. You have commanded us, "Go into all the world and make disciples," (Matthew 28:18) and I have dilly-dallied to listen. You have told us that unless our every action is characterized by love, it is worthless (1 Corinthians 13:1-3), and yet believers in Your Name are among the most loveless people of all. You have told me to pray for my spiritual and political leaders (1 Thessalonians 5:22, 1 Timothy 2:1-2) but I don't. You tell me to flee youthful passions and pursue righteousness, faith, love, and peace (2 Timothy 2:22) but often I am trapped by my own immaturity. You say that I ought to be kind, patient, and gentle (2 Timothy 2:24-26), but I know that I am the antithesis of all those things. You set before me the example of Jesus my Lord so that I would walk in His steps of humility (Philippians 2:1-8), but I exalt myself in my own pride and self-saturatedness.

Abba, why on earth would you choose me? Why would you redeem someone so corrupt, stubborn, selfish, and sinful as I am? How could you redeem me? How could you love me? How can I be used for your glory? What purpose do you have for my life? Will I ever become holy and blameless like you instruct me to be (Ephesians 1:4)? Why was I lavished with grace? Why was I sealed with Your Spirit? Why have I been given an inheritance, the promise of a resurrection body and eternity with You? Why, why, why, my soul asks. But there is no answer... no answer, apart from Grace and Mercy.

Bless the Lord, oh my soul

Oh my soul
Worship His Holy Name.

Sing like never before,

Oh my soul,

I'll worship Your Holy Name.

I worship Your Holy Name.

From dust and ashes,

-Amen.

The Newest Blog on the Block

2011-09-07T20:05:00.000-07:00

So it might not be the newest any more (with all the Romantically-minded people who believe that anyone with enough passion is entitled to his own blog, I'm sure it isn't), but it's my new favorite blog, and I want to share it with you.

that i may know Him

Refreshing thoughts and Biblical word studies on love, from my cousin Isaac. Check it out. That's an order. Leave comments. That's an order, too. Apply. That's an order from God, not me.

From the dust of the Rabbi,

~Nella Camille

Proverbs 31 Woman

2011-08-31T22:51:00.001-07:00

Last semester, we studied the Proverbs 31 woman in class briefly, and I must say, I was severely piqued by some comments made about her. Everyone treats her like a model woman. "Oh, she does this, so I have to too!" Really? When was the last time you used a distaff? Do you even know what a distaff is? Do you sleep? Does everyone in your household wear clothes that you made? Are you an entrepreneur? If you said 'no' to any of these questions, according to traditional interpretation, you just don't make the cut of an excellent wife.

I spent a lot of time trying to articulate my frustrations with the typical Proverbs 31 woman approach, but I never could quite communicate what I was thinking properly. Until I read this article. And, to an extent, this one as well. And then I stopped trying. Enjoy it! It's a gem.

From the dust of the Rabbi,

~Camille

Sin, God, and Responsibility

2011-08-31T22:21:00.000-07:00

My good friend and I were talking the other day and he posed a question which I consider profound: Why is it that when I sin, God holds me accountable for my actions, but when I act righteously, God gets all the credit and glory? This blog post is a brief attempt to answer that question.

First, we must understand why we sin. We sin because it is our nature. When Adam sinned willfully against God, he plunged the whole human race into sin (Romans 5:12-21). That part is fairly straightforward. Then Romans 7 speaks about the relationship between the law and sin, graphically portraying the battle that goes on in a believers' heart between his two natures: the sin nature and the spiritual nature. But the chapter ends with a hopeful note: "Wretched man that I am! Who will deliver me from this body of death? Thanks be to God through Jesus Christ our Lord! So then, I myself serve the law of God with my mind, but with my flesh I serve the law of sin."

Why does Paul thank God? Because he recongnised the truth of the second point in my answer: we have nothing that we did not receive. This is a point Paul makes elsewhere, including in 1 Corinthians 4:7. "For who sees anything different in you? What do you have that you did not receive? If then you received it, why do you boast about it as if you did not receive it?"

Closely related to this is the third point: the Spirit is a gift. In John 14:15-31, Jesus explained that when He left the world, He would leave behind him a Helper for all who called upon His Name. We know from other revelation that this promise was kept (Acts 2; Romans 5:5, 8:2, 8:9, etc.). And we also know that this Spirit is an influence in our sanctification and growth. In other words, the Spirit can empower us to resist temptation.

Finally, sin must be judged. We read this in many places, but the one that pops into my mind is 2 Corinthians 5:10. "For we must all appear before the judgment seat of Christ, so that each one may receive what is due for what he has done in the body, whether good or evil." We will not be punished for the evil we do (that was dealt with by Christ on the cross), however we will be rewarded for our obedience and glorification of God. But, understand this: failure to obey and glorify God is judged by exclusion. Or, in other words, "time spent in sin is forever wasted." You cannot redeem those wasted moments for good, thus lessening the rewards given to you.

So, to bring all of this together, here is my answer to the question.

All men are sinners, apart from Christ. When we repent of our sin and believe in Jesus' Name, we do not lose the flesh. Even though our heart is transformed, we still have sinful cravings and desires. (If you don't think you do, God calls you a liar in 1 John 1:8.) But, if true believers sin, God will forgive them, for they are among His children, and all of their sins have been forgiven because all the wrath God had stored up against them was poured out on Jesus. So their penalty has already been paid. However, that does not negate the fact that the believer has still sinned, and he is held responsible for his actions.

Acting righteously is another matter. One could almost say that righteous living is unnatural apart from regeneration, but natural once the Spirit has changed a heart. However, just because it is natural does not mean it is praiseworthy. For instance, consider Luke 17:7-10, one of Jesus' parables about a servant who serves, just as he is expected to. The servant is not praised, glorified, or honoured for his actions. He was simply submissively obeying. So, when I say "no" to sin, I should not be praised, even though my action is honourable. God, on the other hand, should be praised - not because He Himself resisted the temptation, but because He Himself made my resistance possible by sacrificing His Son to die in my place and purchase my forgiveness and impart righteousness to me. It is God who has enabled me to do the right thing, because if I were to have my own way, I would sin.

Capiche?

From the dust of the Rabbi,

~Camille

Why Study the Bible?

2011-08-31T22:15:00.001-07:00

Good question! Glad you asked! And here's the answer my professor, Marty Richards, would give you... ten reasons I wholeheartedly affirm!

To learn about the origin of the universe. Most people believe in naturalism. We don't. Why?
To learn about the character of God. Most people don't believe God exists. We do, and we believe the Bible displays His character. What is He like?
To learn about the meaning of life. If you assume naturalism, all you are is dust, all you will be is dust, and soon you'll be worm food. Not too encouraging, eh?
To learn about the worth of a soul. If people only live because they are fit, can't we help natural selection by eliminating those who aren't fit?
To learn about the cause of evil and suffering. As C. S. Lewis would say, it is a megaphone telling the world something is wrong. What happened to the original creation?
To learn about the solution to loneliness. Why is it that we crave companionship?
To learn about the future of history. Naturalists are caught up in the cosmos. Is there something greater in store?
To learn about the way of salvation. How can my shattered life be repaired?
To learn about the source of joy. Some get joy from books, cookies and cream milkshakes, or religion. But what separates these from one another?
To learn about the life that comes after death. How can I know that instead of being worm food I will be a perpetual child of the King?

From the dust of the Rabbi,

~Camille

Commentary on Pilgrim's Progress

2011-08-24T18:31:00.000-07:00

Ever have one of those circular days? It starts out bad, gets better, and then ends bad? Or the other way around? Or you wake up with a song on your mind and can't get it out of your head, even when you're going to sleep? Today was one of those days. I woke up thinking about God's love and had a conversation with a brother about how our love for Christ should keep us from sin. Our conversation turned towards temptation (the temptation of Christ, ways to resist temptation, glorifying God through resisting temptation, etc.). Then we went our separate ways for the day, and during evening church, the topic was revisited. This summer we have been watching a DVD commentary on Pilgrim's Progress. Since it was something that has been somewhat a theme for my day, I wanted to share these thoughts from Mark Kielar, the host, with you, my dedicated readers. Enjoy!

1) Hold on, don't grow weary
2) The crown is right around the corner - run well!
3) Remember, some start strong, but not all finish
4) While on earth you are never out of Satan's reach
5) Fix your eyes on Jesus and the prize that awaits you
6) Keep your faith firmly fixed on the unseen things of heaven
7) Don't let anything this side of Heaven become a part of you
8) Watch out for the sins and lusts of your own heart
9) Endure what comes your way by the power of Heaven

From the dust of the Rabbi,

~Camille

The Lying Question, A Summary Note

2011-08-18T05:54:00.000-07:00

Hello, readers and followers of my study of lying!

I keep coming back to one thought on this issue: its simplicity. Tell the truth. Speak the truth in love. Put devious words far from you. Lie not to one another, since you have put off the old man with his practices. These are not hard statements of Jesus like we find in John's Gospel. They are straight-forward commands. So why is this question one that constantly recurs among believers of Jesus Christ?

The trouble is, narratives confuse them. We analyze them trying to discover why Abraham, Rahab, or Sphiphra lied. But the point isn't why any of those people lied, or even what consequences they faced because of their lies. The point is simply that they lied. This seems to surprise us because, after all, isn't the Bible a record of righteous people? While it is, we ought to know from personal experience that righteous or not, mankind has been bent toward both susceptibility to deception and a desire to deceive. That's it. Elisha's deception does not imply that we can deceive any more than David's adultery implies that we can commit adultery. Just because Rahab seemingly got away with no repercussions from her lie does not mean that we should disregard the judgment seat of Christ before which she and we will stand.

My main point is this: If we only had Old Testament narratives, we might be confused about the morality of lying. If we had the Psalms, we would receive more clarity on the issue. If we had the Proverbs, surely we would understand God's view of lying and would hopefully cultivate an aversion toward us. Lying is one of those subjects on which God appears to give progressive revelation. By the time we reach the New Testament, we see God dealing very seriously with liars. In the times past when only the Law had been given, we see God overlooking the ignorance of foolish men, but after Christ comes, we see His holiness burn in anger against those who lie to His very face.

In light of everything we see in the New Testament in its crystal clarity, the Old Testament narratives seem to make a little more sense. A narrative is a historical event, not always intended to reveal a motive. We could speculate all we want about the details of some of these events, but they have not been revealed to us. Those things belong solely in the realm of God's remembrance. We may never know the titillating details. But we do know that our God is a God of Truth. We know that Jesus is the Truth. We know that the Spirit is the Spirit of Truth. And we know that God punishes lying and commands us not to lie in the New Testament.

And to me, that pretty much settles the matter.

Thoughts? Reactions? Leave them in the comment section.

From the dust of the Rabbi,

~Camille

The Lying Question, Part 2

2011-08-17T13:04:00.000-07:00

Hallo! Just a few responses to a few comments I've received already. Thanks Isaac, Jenna, and Dallas for your feedback!

Upon examination of the Hebrew definition of false witness, this is what I discovered:

false - an untruth; by implication a sham (often adverbially): - without a cause, deceit (-ful), false (-hood, -ly), feignedly, liar, + lie, lying, vain (thing), wrongfully.

witness - concretely a witness; abstractly testimony; specifically a recorder, that is, prince: - witness.

I want to explain a bit more why I stated that I believe this word can be applied to lying, deception, gossip, slander, and even manipulation. But before that I should clarify that since this appears in the context of one's neighbor, this is not the strongest argument for my position. This verse specifically means that we should not lie about people to others. (I'm going to pick on some people who I know read my blog for a minute here. Apologies in advance.) If I say anything untrue to Samantha about Dallas, I am bearing false witness. If I put words into his mouth, impugn motives, or exaggerate a tone in any way that tears down his reputation, I am breaking this commandment. I think it is easy to see how these fall into the categories of not only lying about something he said or did, but also could be also considered gossip or slander. Maybe Dallas's comments were only meant for my ears. By sharing something he said in confidence, I am gossiping. By disrespectful words I am guilty of slander. Also, I have become guilty of purposely trying to deceive Samantha into thinking less of Dallas and more of myself. Sin gives birth to sin.

Isaac mentioned a story I rather intentionally omitted in my overview, and that is the story of Rahab found in Joshua 2. I omitted her because Dallas dealt a bit with her in his initial Facebook note. Like in the Germans-pursuing-Nazis scenario, Rahab was harboring two wanted men, spies of Israel who were sent to investigate the city of Jericho. Rahab's lie saved the lives of the two men. It is true; she lied. Scripture records no reproach of her unrighteous action. (However, the same can be said for Rachel for stealing Laban's idols, many of the kings for their idolatry, etc.) It does commend her faith. Think about it: pagan woman living in pagan city saves the lives of two Yahweh worshipers. It is unusual to say the least, and she did exercise a great deal of faith (Joshua 2:11-13). She acted on very little information, yet she did choose the right side. But was her lie commendable? Was it righteous? Based on the weight of Scripture, I think we must condemn her lie while praising her faith. The example of a pagan harlot-turned-helper cannot always be our example of whom we should imitate, even if she did demonstrate incredible faith.

For her faith, not for her lie (as with Abraham in the previous post), Rahab was rewarded and mentioned in the hall of faith in Hebrews (11:31; see also James 2:25). I believe this statement is perfectly acceptable, because consider others who were included in the hall of faith. Noah became drunk. Abraham not only lied but followed along with his wife's foolish plan of marrying Hagar (and we all know how that ended...). Sarah disbelieved the LORD's word that she would become pregnant. Moses murdered a man. Rahab was a prostitute. Gideon was timid. I could go on. But I hope you understand the point. No one would say, "Murder is alright just so long as the murderer is a slave-driver." That's as ridiculous in our day and age as saying, "It's okay to murder a doctor who performs abortions. I'm saving lives by doing so." Two wrongs to not make a right. Anti-Semitism does not merit lying any more than this extreme example which I have proposed.

Still, Joshua 2 is one instance in which I wish Scripture recorded might-have-beens. What would have happened had Rahab told the truth instead of lying? Or what would have happened if the spies had never gone to Rahab? Interesting to think about, if nothing else!

The actions of Elisha (2 Kings 6) and Samuel (1 Samuel 16) are similar in many ways to what Abraham and Rahab have already done. They are righteous men who have told a lie. That is not so uncommon, is it? King David committed immorality, Solomon did it as well, as did many others. Just because a deed is done by a commendable man does not mean his every deed is commendable. That is how I look at least lies. That they were told by Elisha or Samuel does not in any way sanctify them, even though they were acting in a prophetic capacity at the time. Though, I must admit, the story of what Elisha did to the Syrians is almost laughable, like some kind of divine practical joke. (Jenna, thanks for bringing this up! And thank you for reading! I appreciate it.)

Dallas asked me specifically to address the passage in 1 Samuel 16, and I will do my best to do so. After having read the first several verses several times, I see how this could qualify as being, in essence, deceptive, on Samuel's part. When I looked up the notes from the ESV study Bible, they said that in this case a half-truth was morally acceptable because it was dictated by God. However, I see a slightly different angle on this story, which I will do my best to explain coherently.

Saul already knew that God had rejected him as king (1 Samuel 15:27&28). This event takes place immediately after that. Do you suppose that if you were Saul, you might understand what Samuel was up to without him having to say a word? After all, this rival was to be Saul's "neighbor," and Bethlehem, the city of David, certainly qualifies as a being in the neighborhood of Jerusalem, where Saul resided. Since the LORD had already rejected Saul as king, He was under no obligation to reveal His will to Saul. If the LORD had told Samuel, "Do not speak a word to Saul," that would not have been deception at all. The fact that the LORD revealed part of the future of Saul is incredible enough in light of 1 Samuel 15. The LORD simply revealed more of His will to Samuel than He did to Saul, and as the LORD's mouthpiece, Samuel was not being deceptive, but rather being obedient to what God had revealed to him.

Please feel free to offer more feedback, and I will do my best to respond promptly. Thank you all for your comments! It has been very helpful in causing me to study the Scriptures further.

From the dust of the Rabbi,

~Nella Camille

The Lying Question

2011-08-17T08:21:00.000-07:00

Hallo, All! I hope you are enjoying yourselves from your various patches of dirt. I know that I am, because I am on vacation! =) This morning I was outside thinking about a question I have been asked many times: Is lying ever acceptable? Back in the days when I was a young Rebelutionary, I remember discussing this question with Alex King, Coie Ig, David Ketter, and others. I have drawn some of the content of this post from a draft I had started a long time ago, but most of this content is what I studied on the issue this morning for my devos. So, without further ado, let's tackle this question which has been plaguing Christian laity and clergy for years (and thus probably will not be answered and addressed fully in one blog post, so bear with me).

The first thoughts that popped into my head were scattered all over the place. I think the first two were, "Truth is part of God's very nature," and, "The world sure got really screwed up over a lie." I flipped my Bible open to Genesis. In my Bible, the Fall takes place on page two... right after God made everything and said that it was very good. Why? Because Satan told Eve a lie: "You will not surely die" (Genesis 3:4). Well, we all knew how that worked out. Now we all die because Eve believed that she would not die, in accordance with Satan's deception. This lead me to an important realisation: the motive of a lie is always deception. It is saying, "No, reality is not like this, it is like that instead." By changing Eve's perception of reality, Satan changed life for every one of us today. (That kinda makes me think of Inception... creepy....)

Next we encounter three prominent liars: Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob. Abraham lied twice (Genesis 12 and 20) about his relationship with Sarah, and his son Isaac did the same thing years later (Genesis 26, I believe). I didn't read the account of Isaac's lie, but I read both of Abraham's, and we studied these accounts in Sunday School last week. Basic gist is that Abraham and Sarah say, "Oh, no, we're not married, we're siblings!" to save Abraham's skin. In both cases, Sarah is taken and almost married off to another man while Abraham stands by watching. He evidently benefits from this because in both cases, his material possessions are increased by his lie. However, we know that at least Abimelech (a pagan Philistine!) called Abraham's lie "a great sin" (Genesis 20:9). However, in light of everything we learn about Abraham, we can see that he is very like us. He is self-defensive, cautious, selfish, and a liar. I know I am all those things. Given Abraham's situation, I just might have done the same thing. But I still would have been wrong. Also, from the account in Genesis 20, God accuses Abimelech of sinning for taking Sarah to be his wife. Abraham's lie leads Abimelech to act in a manner which appeared perfectly acceptable, but was actually quite wrong.

Jacob. He lied his whole life. Some say that his name itself means, "Deceptive Usurper." But he also lived his whole life in fear for his life at the hands of Esau and Laban. He lived in much unrest and discomfort because of his lies.

What can we learn from these two men? God did not strike them dead for their lies. In fact, they seemed to thrive in spite of and because of them. But was it really because they lied that God prospered them? No, it was not. It was in spite of their lies that God continued to bless them. That is the same way in which He deals with us. He gives more grace, but He has also given us His Spirit of Truth so that we would not walk in Jacob's dust, but in Jesus'.

The case of Shiphrah and Puah is an interesting one. Some believe that the midwives lied to Pharaoh by telling him that the Hebrew women were strong and gave birth before the midwives arrived. I am not convinced this was a lie. After all, the Hebrew women were strong. They were enslaved under a harsh task-master, laboring outdoors making bricks to fuel the Pharaoh's building projects. What we seem to have in Shiphrah and Puah's case is an instance in which two women took a stand like Peter and John and obeyed God (cherish and protect life) rather than Pharoah (hate and destroy life, especially male life). God blessed them for their obedience and courage toward Him rather than their disobedience (and potential deception) of Pharoah.

The Ten Commandments do not say, "You shall not lie," but they do say, "Do not bear false witness against your neighbor." What is false witness? I believe it includes but is not limited to lying, deception, gossip, and slander. Another aspect that could be included might be manipulation. And as Luke 10:25-37 tells us, everyone we meet is our neighbor... including those we may be socially, racially, or culturally be prejudiced against.

But in spite of this, we know that lying is characteristic of mankind, but not of God. Numbers 23:19 says, "God is not a man that He should lie, or a son of man that he should change his mind." Psalm 119:160 reminds us that "the sum of Your (God's) words is truth." Jesus calls himself the way, truth, and life. Clearly, Truth and God Himself are very closely connected.

Psalm 34:12&13 tell us that if one desires long life, he should keep his tongue from evil and his lips from deceit (quoted in 1 Peter 3:10-12 also). Many references in Proverbs (4:24, 6:16-19, 8:6-9, 19:1, and 30:7-9) also have much to say about lying and truthfulness.

Heretofore I have only quoted from the Old Testament, but the New Testament also has much to say about lying and truthfulness. For instance, Ananias and Sapphira were struck dead for lying to the Holy Spirit (Acts 5:1-11). Ephesians 4:25 says that believers should speak truth to their neighbors. Colossians 3:9&10 encourage believers to stop lying to one another because lying is a fruit of the old man rather than the new. In Titus 2:7&8 Paul administers a general admonition to walk in integrity. And Revelation 21:8 says (paraphrase) "Liars go to hell."

So that's Genesis to Revelation on lies, deceit, truth, and integrity. I think it is pretty clear that God hates lying, it is antithetical to his character, and that we are commanded to speak truth

But what about "the special cases." What about military campaigns?

I confess that I have not researched this out as fully as I hoped. Apparently Dallas has encountered passages in the OT that have suggested that the Israelites were to intentionally deceive their Canaanite enemies. So I will leave that to his court... but if he were to give me some references, I would be more than happy to study them!

What about Germans protecting Jews from the Nazis? Were the people who lied sinning?

Point-blank, yes. God does call us to protect life. God also calls us to honor our government. But I can find no place where God tells us to lie. In fact, I heard one story about a family harboring Jews who were visited by the Germans. When asked by the soldiers where the Jews were, the head of the household said, "Under the table," which was where they were. The soldier was convinced he was lying, never checked under the table, and did not find the Jews. God is fully capable of protecting His people - even when the whole world is against them. He is perfectly capable of changing minds, removing scents, and blinding the eyes of his enemies. But He also sometimes chooses to bring Himself glory through the honourable and God-glorifying death of his saints (Isaiah, James, Peter). 1 Peter 4:19 says, "Therefore, let those who suffer according to God's will entrust their souls to a faithful Creator while doing good."

Maybe my response to this point is naive. In fact, it probably is. But based on my study of Scripture up to this point, I see no mandate or even justification for lying under any circumstances.

Questions? Comments? Feedback? Accusations? Please leave them (respectfully, of course) below in the comment section.

My New Favourite Word

2011-08-02T10:47:00.000-07:00

Chesed.

Yup. It's definitely my new favourite word.

Chesed is Hebrew for "steadfast love." I've been thinking about that word a lot lately. Sometimes it is translated just "love," other times, "steadfast love," and sometimes, "mercy." Have you ever thought about mercy and what it means? It means that we deserve nothing but Hell, and God gives us nothing but grace, which is favour we don't deserve. And even though we fail God, His mercy never comes to an end, but it is new every morning. Great is His faithfulness! Great is His love!

A song that about sums up all my thoughts about mercy is this one.

Don't the lyrics there just fit perfectly? "I had no hope that You would own a rebel to Your will, and if You had not loved me first, I would refuse You still."

Thank God for His grace, reaching out to us and giving us new life!

From the dust of the Rabbi,

~Nella Camille

Stronger, Not Weaker

2011-07-09T18:01:00.001-07:00

Complaining. Jealousy. Anger. Self-defense. Covetousness. Besides being sins, these are all reactions to hard things--wrong reactions.

Last night I was contemplating a thought that had never crossed my mind before: Hard things can make us stronger, but they can also make us weaker. Here are a few examples.

You try something hard, and you fail. Your failure embarrases you, and you never step outside of your comfort zone again. "I've tried hard things, but they were just too hard for me. I'm just not a 'do hard things' person."
You tackle something hard, but all the while you point out to your friends how amazing you are in what you have done. "Look at all the hard things I've done! Don't you wish you were like me?"
You undertake a hard thing but secretly grumble and complain or gossip and slander those with whom you are working or those whom you are allegedly serving. "I just can't believe that no one appreciates what I've done. I should be getting praise for this."
You allow discontentment to fester in your heart. "Of course I am a better choice of a wife than she is. I can't believe they are courting! And I can't believe that I allowed myself to like him. What a jerk!"

Get the picture? These are all wrong reactions to hard tasks, commitments, and decisions. If this is how you do hard things, stop. You are doing them wrongly, God is not glorified, you are not helped, and the world is worse off instead of better for your efforts.

In the course of every hard thing, you always have a choice. You can take the straight and narrow path and everything associated with it (integrity, love, compassion, humble service, etc.) or you can take the broad path and all its fancy trappings (simplicity, sloth, and presumption). You can magnify God's kingdom, or seek to build up your own. But only one way is the right way, the true way.

Here's a quiz. Which reaction would you have?

Situation: You take flack for one of your achievements. Maybe undertaking that endeavour wasn't your idea, but still you are being criticized, and those whom you love are being maligned.

Reaction #1: Get angry, get even.

Reaction #2: Take the heat, and talk to God about it instead of complaining to others.

Situation: You work your tail off and receive little appreciation.

Reaction #1: Complain and judge the other person for not acknowledging your efforts.

Reaction #2: Realise that Jesus did the same thing... and you treated Him like dirt until He gave you grace and saved you.

Situation: You face opposition to your pet project, something you've been planning on and praying about for months or years.

Reaction #1: Give up. Blow up. Tear up.

Reaction #2: Pray, pray, pray! And then prayerfully move forward, knowing that opposition proves our reliance on God.

I will admit. Sitting here, it is pretty easy to see which response is correct. But in life, we face all these decisions all the time, and it's not usually while we're with all our Rebelutionaries having a party. It is usually when we are cold, hungry, exhausted, and weak. But that's when God works best sometimes, is it not, because we cannot boast that we did the right thing, we can only point to Him who stands above.

So next time you're persecuted...pray for those who misuse you (Matthew 5:44) and answer them graciously (1 Peter 3:15).

Next time you face joylessness...find strength in the joy of the Lord (Nehemiah 8:10).

Next time you don't understand...entrust yourself to God, who does (1 Peter 4:19).

Next time you are looked down on because of your youth...set an example for the believers in all things (1 Timothy 4:12).

Next time you are treated with hatred...react in love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, gentleness, faithfulness, and self-control (Galatians 5:22).

Next time you are faced with a life-changing decision...follow in Abraham's footsteps and follow God wherever He leads (Genesis 12).

And if you do this, hard things will make you stronger, not weaker.

If you have an example of this in your life, I'd love to hear about it in the comment section!

From the dust of the Rabbi,

~Camille

"Mawwiage is wut bwings us togevah today."

2011-06-29T13:26:00.000-07:00

Dear ladies and gents,

After my dad's sermon on Sunday encouraging young people to get busy, get motivated, and get married, my mom has been worried that young girls will tell their parents they want to get married. She also told me this morning that while she was outside gardening she was mentally arguing with my dad's sermon. Her chief complaint is that she is convinced people are going to be calling asking to marry me. The phones, however, have remained silent, except for those disturbingly frequent 800-service calls. And even then, I'm not concerned that anyone is going to call my dad and ask for my hand in marriage.

The point is not that I am disinterested in marriage. No, that is not the point at all. The fact is that marriage is not a distraction from our purpose, but rather a part of it. Courtship or engagement would not mean that I am in any way above any single person on the planet, nor would it mean that I drop my job, responsibility, and family to go off raiding the countryside arm-in-arm with a young man, because that would not be pleasing to my God. He is in charge here, not me. Perhaps I only feel that way because I've never been swept off my feet and never been in love. Perhaps I'm just a Stoic. Perhaps I'm afraid that if I were more of a dreamer I would get distracted. Perhaps I'm just strange. Perhaps I just haven't met the right man yet, or the right man hasn't yet appeared to be the right one yet. No matter if I've met him or if I haven't yet, I'm not worried about him.

A few months ago I was all worked up, considering what my mom likes to call "all my options." I was freaked out about the possibility of a relationship. And then it hit me. When it is the right time, I won't be panicky, I'll be peaceful. My heart won't be worried, but it will feel wonderful. And marriage isn't a detour or somehow the higher road, but it is part of most women's purpose.

So stop worrying about being ready or not ready for a relationship. Pursue God's revealed will for your life (your sanctification, the salvation of the nations, obedience, spiritual growth, etc.) and while you are faithful in doing the small things, He will be working out the big things in ways you never could have orchestrated if left to your own designs. That melodramatic moment you've always wanted? Not all it is cracked up to be. The sovereignty of God and the moment He has planned? So much better.

Patiently waiting, but not idly,

~Nella Camille

P.S. Whoever picked the word, 'engaged' anyway? It sounds dumb, and its other meanings are related to military and business contexts. Makes me think of the economics that I should be studying for....okay, toodles!

Quotes from Love or Die

2011-06-28T16:41:00.000-07:00

Dear Readers,

I have been on an interesting journey the past several weeks since coming home. I mentioned in my last post that one thing God is challenging me to learn is love. This post is sort of a part two post to that, and comes as a way for me to share with you some of what I have learned. I do not recommend that you read all of this post in one sitting, as it is actually about nine pages when copied and pasted from a word document into this text box. This lengthy blog post is my humble plea to convince you to purchase your own copy of Love or Die by Alexander Strauch to read it for yourself. The book proper is only 69 pages long. I read it in a week, but I know that it will continue to challenge me for the rest of my life. The quotes below are simply what I marked up in the book with my pink highlighter, but there is much more information. What you find below is simply a sampling.

If you do not have time or resources to purchase the book, I recommend that you print out this post and read through the quotes later at your convenience. Meditate on them. Search the Scriptures for more support for them. If you want the broader context of a particular quote, e-mail or Facebook me, and I would be more than happy to explain to you anything within my capacity to explain. So, without further ado, here are my favorite quotes from Love or Die, by Alexander Strauch. As I find them, I will attempt to correct typos, but right now be warned that I am sure there are a few misprints, which are my own fault and do not in any way reflect the content of Mr. Strauch's book.

Basking in My Redeemer's Love,

~Camille

“The church is to be a family of brothers and sisters characterized by humility, gentleness, peace, forgiveness, forbearance, faith, hope, and love, with love being the supreme, overarching virtue. ‘And above all,’ writes Paul, ‘put on love, which binds everything together in perfect harmony’ (Col. 3:14).” p 1

“Love is essential to everything we do in Christian life and ministry.” p 2

“I bow my knees before the Father…that…he may grant you to be strengthened with power through his Spirit in your inner being,…that you…may have strength to comprehend with all the saints what is the breadth and length and height and depth [of Christ’s love], and to know the love of Christ that surpasses knowledge.” (Eph. 3:14-19) quoted on p 2

“Imagine if Christ were to look down at your church, walk in your midst, and give you an evaluation. It would be unnerving to say the least!” p 4

“Too often we care more about church growth strategies or the latest trends than we do about what Jesus Christ thinks.” p 4

“This issue is of utmost importance because love is vital to the survival of our local churches today.” p 4

“Churches today need to understand that hatred of evil and falsehood is not a contradiction of love, but an essential part of genuine Christian love (1 Cor. 13:6). Love abhors ‘what is evil’ and clings ‘to what is good’ (Rom 12:9).” p 8

“In light of all the commendable qualities of this church, we might think of Christ’s complaint as trivial, but in his eyes, the church had ‘fallen.’ It had abandoned the love it once had. To the one ‘who loves us and has freed us from our sins by his blood’ (Rev. 1:5), this is no small matter. Thus, our Lord says, ‘I have this against you.’” p 8

“…they no longer possessed the kind of love they had in their early years as a church. They still loved the Lord, but not like they did at first. They still loved one another, but not like before.” p 8-9

“…’you have abandoned’ or ‘given up’ the love they once had. They can’t blame anyone else for this loss.” p 9

“The one quality…that should beautify every believer and every church, regardless of giftedness or personality, is love. Thus the thing that should be of utmost concern to every believer and every church is this: Does a Christlike spirit of love permeate the atmosphere of our church?” p 11

“They still proclaim the truth, but no longer passionately love him who is the truth. They still perform good deeds, but no longer out of love, brotherhood, and compassion. They preserve the truth and witness courageously, but forget that love is the great witness to truth. It is not so much that their genuine virtues have squeezed love out, but that no amount of good works, wisdom, and discernment in matters of church discipline, patient endurance in hardship, hatred of sin, or disciplined doctrine, can ever make up for lovelessness.” D. A. Carson, quoted on pp 11-12. “A Church that Does All the Right Things, But…” Emphasis added.

Reasons why love is a life-or-death issue in our churches today, from pp 13-16:

· First, Jesus taught that “the great and first commandment” is to love God completely, totally, and unreservedly—with all one’s heart, with all one’s soul, and with all one’s mind.

· Second, Jesus declared the second commandment is like the first: “You shall love your neighbor as yourself.”

· Third, true discipleship requires denying self and loving him above all others.

· Fourth, Jesus left his followers a new commandment: “A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another: just as I have loved you…. By this all people will know that you are my disciples.”

· Fifth, John, the beloved disciple of Christ, declared that “God is love.”

· Sixth, Paul called love the “more excellent way” of living.

“Christ’s followers are to be marked not only by total devotion to God but also by sacrificial service to neighbor.” p 13

“…love ‘is to be the distinguishing mark of Christ’s followers.’” p 13, quoting Leon Morris

“‘The new commandment,’ writes Carl Hoch, ;is the sine qua non of the Christian life.’ Sin qua non…is a Latin phrase meaning ‘without which nothing.’ Thus the new commandment is an essential element of the Christian life and witness to the world.” p 15

“‘There is nothing so remote from Christ’s example as a hard and uncharitable disposition.’” John Eadie, quoted on p 15

“‘All love is but a reflection or shadow of intratrinitarian love.’” Kelly Kapic, quoted on p 15

“‘Love is from God, and whoever loves has been born of God and knows God. Anyone who does not love does not know God, because God is love’ (1 John 4:7-8). So not to love one another in the family of God is an egregious sin.” p 16

“‘No religious act is of any value in God’s sight if it does not accompany and flow from Christian love….’” Maurice Roberts, quoted on p 17

“Every Christian is to be marked by faith, hope, and love. These cardinal virtues are foundational to a regenerated life as well as to a thriving local church. Yet even among these three, Paul says, ‘the greatest of these is love.’ So whether we are speaking of the fruit of the Spirit or of cardinal virtues, love is the greatest!” p 17

“‘The vitality of a church, then, is measured by the wealth of its love, not by the fanaticism of its members, the subtlety of its theology or the prosperity of its finances. But it is true that love may increase the zeal of the parishioners, inspire the theologians and improve the finances of the Church.’” Quoting Gaston Deluz, p 17

“Remember, there is always one who walks among the churches, unseen but seeing all. How do you imagine Christ might evaluate your local church body?” p 18

“What we learn from Revelation 2:4, and must never forget, is that an individual or a church can teach sound doctrine, be faithful to the gospel, be morally upright, and work hard, yet be lacking in love and therefore, be displeasing to Christ. Love can grow cold while outward religious performance still appears to be acceptable—or even praiseworthy.” p 19

“We have a tendency to trust in external religious rituals, traditions, denominational distinctions, doctrinal correctness, and moralistic rules, while we overlook the essential, foundational elements of love for God and neighbor…. External religious performance can insidiously replace true, inner faith and heartfelt love…. Thus, Revelation 2:4 is a wake-up call to all churches: love or die!

It is not easy, however, to restore a heart that is deficient in love. There is a physical heart condition called cardiomyopathy that weakens the heart muscle so that the heart can no longer sufficiently pump blood. If left untreated, such a condition will cause a person to become weaker and weaker and eventually die. There is a similar risk when a heart has become deficient in love. A cold heart becomes a hard heart, and a heart that is resistant to change. As time passes, it becomes increasingly difficult to restore the warmth of Christian love.” p 19-20

“Loss of love always has adverse consequences on a church’s work, conduct, attitudes, and activities.” p 22

“For us, as for the Ephesians, the fire of the love can be rekindled. Lives can be rededicated to Christ. The Holy Spirit can breathe new life into prayers, Bible study, evangelism, worship, and fellowship with one another. We can more fully know and abide in the love that God has for us (1 John 4:16). We can more consistently walk in love as Christ loved us and gave Himself up for us (Eph. 5:2).” p 23

“No matter how impressive a church may appear to be on the outside—a magnificent building, huge congregation, large staff, big budget, dynamic teaching, outstanding missions program, and awesome music—it may still be dying within from a lack of love (1 Cor. 13: 1-3).” p 25

“Love is vital to the spiritual health of the individual and to the local church.” p 25

“The nurture and practice of love is a life and death issue to the local church. We do not want the Lord to say of us, ‘I have this against you.’” p 26

“In the English Standard Version of the Bible, the different forms of the word love appear almost a thousand times.” p 27

“If you want to pursue love, you must read and study what God says about love in his written Word. You will then grow in the knowledge of love and in the knowledge of God and Christ whom we are to love above all others. Nothing but God’s word and Spirit can awaken our desire to love and transform our sinfully selfish hearts to love as Christ loves. If the Scriptures don’t convince us of the importance of love and God’s requirements of love, then nothing will.” p 27

Moody on love, p 29. “‘There is no use of trying to do church work without love. A doctor, a lawyer, may do good work without love, but God’s work cannot be done without love.’”

“‘Love is something which can be contemplated…. If love does not make you think, it is not love; it is a purely physical instinct. Love enjoys ruminating, dwelling upon, looking at, dissecting, analyzing and considering…. Love is to be studied, and the more you study it, the more you enjoy it.’” Martyn Lloyd Jones on love, p 30

“It is one thing to study love, but quite another to put into practice what we learn.” p 33

“The apostles were far more concerned about love than we tend to be. The New Testament shows us that they taught the believers what Christ taught on love; exhorted their readers to practice Christ’s love; modeled Christ’s love for their converts to follow; warned about loving this present world more than Christ; and prayed for their converts to grow in Christlike love.” p 33

“We are naturally selfish people who simply cannot, at least in our own strength, walk in love as Christ did.” p 33

“‘The great fault of the children of God is, they do not continue in prayer; they do not go on praying; they do not persevere. If they desire anything for God’s glory, they should pray until they get it.’” George Müller on praying for love, p 33

C. T. Studd on our love for Christ, p 34: “‘If Jesus Christ be God and died for me, then no sacrifice can be too great for me to make for Him.’”

Martyn Lloyd-Jones on Ephesians 3:14-19, quoted on p 34: “‘We must never fall into the error of imagining that because we are Christians we therefore know all about the love of God. Most of us are but as children paddling at the edge of an ocean; there are abysmal depths in this love of God of which we know nothing.’”

Martyn Lloyd-Jones quoted on p 35: “‘The secret of the early Christians, the early Protestants, Puritans and Methodists was that they were taught about the love of Christ, and they became filled with a knowledge of it. Once a man has the love of Christ in his heart you need not train him to witness; he will do it. He will know the power, the constraint, the motive; everything is already there. It is a plain lie to suggest that people who regard this knowledge of the love of Christ as the supreme thing are useless, unhealthy mystics. The servants of God who have most adorned the life and the history of the Christian Church have always been men who have realised that this is the most important thing of all, and they have spent hours in prayer seeking His face and enjoying His love. The man who knows the love of Christ in his heart can do more in one hour than the busy type of man can do in a century. God forbid that we should ever make of activity an end in itself. Let us realise that the motive must come first, and that the motive must ever be the love of Christ.’”

John Stott on the cross and love, p 36: “‘The cross is the blazing fire at which the flame of our love is kindled.’”

“Love is not static but dynamic. Love is to be increasing, not diminishing. So Paul specifically prayed that his converts would not only grow in love but would overflow in love for one another and for all people.” p 37

“As believers, indwelt by the Holy Spirit, we have an immense capacity to love all people—even our enemies and those who are unlovely or disagreeable. We have the power to love as Jesus loved and to continue to abound in love throughout life.” p 38-39

“…growth in love is a struggle. ‘The best believers,’ writes Maurice Roberts, ‘find their progress slow and their attainments meager.’ This is why we need to pray continually for God’s help.” p 39

“The more we understand God’s demands of love, the more we realize our need to pray for a heart of joyful obedience.” p 39

Maurice Roberts writes on p 39: “‘Our life’s work must be to call down heaven’s help upon ourselves that we may bend towards the great command to love one another.’”

“I cannot encourage you enough to make praying for love a regular part of your prayer life. Pray for increasing knowledge of God’s love in Christ. Pray to excel more in love for others. Pray with others for growth in love. In your church meeting or in your small group study, pray for more love for Christ and for a lost, suffering world. As you pray, ‘May the Lord make you increase and abound in love for one another and for all’ (1 Thess. 3:12).” p 40, Emphasis added

“During the final hours before his death, at the last Passover meal, Jesus revealed some of his most profound teaching on love. He knew that if the disciples were to survive without him and represent him properly to the world, they must learn how to love one another as he had loved them.” p 41

“I ask [newly married couples] to take the first fifteen weeks of their marriage to study the fifteen descriptions of love. I ask them to dedicate one week to each description. Throughout that wee, they are to study, memorize, meditate on, and discuss ways to practically implement each positive virtue of love and avoid the negative qualities (the vices of selfishness). This assignment, which expands their understanding of true biblical love, could benefit anyone—married or single.” p 43

“Believers need to be taught that the Christian life is to be characterized by Christ’s total, self-giving love: ‘Walk in love, as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us (Eph 5:2).’ Our daily walk in love is to be patterned after Christ’s costly, sacrificial love for others: ‘By this we know love, that he laid down his life for us, and we ought to lay down our lives for the brothers’ (1 John 3:16).” p 43

“We must clearly teach that the standard of love God sets for Christian husbands is nothing less than Christ’s total, self-giving love. Thus the Christian home should be characterized by Christ’s unselfish, giving love—a love that is initiated by the husband.” p 45

“The home is the best testing ground for the kind of love described in 1 Corinthians 13:4-7. It is a tragic situation when some believers show abundant love to people at church or in the neighborhood, but fail to express the same love to their spouse or children.” p 45

“The local church is a divinely created family in which we learn to love as Christ loved. The local church is to be a close-knit family of brothers and sisters who are totally committed to displaying God’s love by loving and caring for one another. The standard of love set for the local church is best explained by John: ‘By this we know love, that he laid down his life for us, and we ought to lay down our lives for the brothers’ (1 John 3:16).” p 45-46

“Believers cannot encourage one another to love if they don’t meet together regularly as a church family.” p 46

“Our growth in love is not just an individual exercise. Love requires both a subject and an object, thus love is a corporate learning experience.” p 46

“Christians cannot develop love by sitting at home alone on the couch watching TV preachers or by attending a weekly one-hour church service. It is only through participation in ‘the household of God,’ the local church (1 Tim. 3:15), with all of its weaknesses and faults, that love is taught, modeled, learned, tested, practiced, and matured. By dealing with difficult people, facing painful conflicts, forgiving hurts and injustices, reconciling estranged relationships, and helping needy members, our love is tested and matures.” p 46

“The local church truly is ‘a spiritual workshop for the development of agape love’ and ‘one of the very best laboratories in which individual believers may discover their real spiritual emptiness and begin to grow in agape love.’ If you are not a participating member of a local church, then you are not in God’s school of love.” p 46, quotes from Paul E. Billheimer

“Every member of the believing community is responsible for encouraging, praying for, exhorting, serving, admonishing, teaching, building up, caring for, and loving one another.” p 47

“‘My business is to love others, not to seek that others love me.’” p 47 quote of Robert Cleaver Chapman

“Don’t wait for people to love you; start loving and serving others.” p 47

“Christ demands from his followers a supernatural, divine love that forgives, reconciles, and forbears—with the unlovely, with those who persecute us, hate us, with those outside our circle of church friends, with those who disagree with us, and with all people of the world. This is the love our heavenly Father displays, the love Jesus summons us to imitate.” p 48

“We encourage love in others by our example, and we learn the most about love when we see it lived out in the lives of people. Paul, for example, provided the church in Corinth with a much-needed example of Christlike love for them to see and imitate.” p 51

“David’s example of love for God brought spiritual reformation, revival, and renewal to Israel.” p 53

“May our prayer bee that our churches would become known as ‘Universities of Love.’” p 54

“Church leaders set the tone for the church community. If local church leaders love, the people will love. If they are thoughtful, kind, and caring, the people will be thoughtful, kind, and caring. If they raise awareness of people’s needs and establish organizational structures through which people can serve needy members (Acts 6:1-7), the people will respond. If leaders create an environment of love and hold themselves and others accountable to love, the people will flourish spiritually and many will imitate their example. Even other churches may see and be spurred on to greater love (1 Thess. 1:7).” p 55

“‘There are many who preach Christ, but not many who live Christ. My great aim will be to live Christ.’” Robert Cleaver Chapman, p 55.

“You may not be a gifted preacher or scholar, but you can have a significant impact on people as you live and model Christlike love.” p 55

“As Paul said to Timothy, ‘set the believers an example in…love’ (1 Tim. 4:12).” p 56

“Because of the ever-present temptation to love something else more than Christ, we must be ever vigilant to guard our love for Christ.” p 57

“…we can selfishly and disobediently. We can let our love for Christ grow cold. Our love for Christ can be weakened by neglect, sin, worldly distractions, or false teaching (2 Cor. 11:2-4), so we must learn to guard it well.” p 57

“Most of us are to some degree like Martha. We are easily distracted by our work. We become anxious about the many details of life and neglect spending time with Christ.” p 58

“‘One thing is necessary.’” Jesus in Luke 10, quoted on p 58

“What is distracting you from spending time at Jesus’ feet and listening to his words?” p 59

“‘Beware of the barrenness of a busy life.’” A sign on a world mission director’s desk, p 59

Samuel Rutherford on p 59: “‘I am most gladly content that Christ breaketh all my idols in pieces: it hath put a new edge upon my blunted love to Christ.’”

Henry Morehouse on the lack of love on p 60: “‘Love seems in so many hearts to have gone to sleep.’”

“When love goes to sleep, we grow cold and unfeeling toward people. We love material possessions and personal comforts more than people. We love our work more than people. We become bitter towards people because our feelings have been hurt. We become weary in serving selfish, ungrateful people and become complacent about love. We neglect our duty to love the unlovely and the disagreeable. Like the priest and Levite in the story of the Good Samaritan, we become apathetic to the suffering of others.” p 62

“…when you sense your love falling to sleep, take corrective action immediately.” p 62

“Let us not love in word or talk, but in deed and in truth.” 1 John 3:16, quoted on p 65

“Let love be genuine.” Romans 12:9, quoted on p 65

“‘A true love for people,’ says John Stott, ‘leads to labour for them; otherwise it degenerates into mere sentimentality.’” p 66

“We must remember that the biblical commands to love require obedience and practical action on our part. They are not heavenly suggestions, but direct commands from the King.” p 66

“‘Love is not,’ as biblical commentator Alexander Ross explains, ‘an emotion to which we may give expression now and then, as we feel inclined; it is a duty required of us at all times by God, and the children of God ought surely to obey their Heavenly Father.’” p 66

“Just as marriage is a commitment to love one another in good times and in bad, so love for God and neighbor is a commitment to love God and neighbor despite changing feelings or difficult circumstances.” p 66

“Although Christ commands us to love as he loved, he doesn’t leave us powerless to accomplish the task. He graciously gives his life-empowering Holy Spirit. The Holy Spirit—who is God and is love—produces within every believer a supernatural capacity to love as Christ loves.” p 67

“Perhaps you are wondering how the church in Ephesus responded when Christ’s letter was read publically in the assembly. Did they humble themselves before God? Did they obey the Lord’s directives? Or did they refuse to believe the Lord’s assessment of their spiritual condition?

“We find the answer in a letter written at the beginning of the second century by Ignatius, the overseer (Greek, episcopos) of the church at Antioch in Syria. Ignatius had been arrested for his faith and was sent to Rome for execution some time between A.D. 105-117. While on his journey to Rome, Ignatius wrote seven letters that remain to this day. These letters are traditionally placed among other documents known as the writings of the Apostolic Fathers. One of these letters was written to the church at Ephesus.

“On the way to Rome, Ignatius’s guards stopped in the city of Smyrna. While at Smyrna, the church in Ephesus, about forty miles south, sent a delegation of brothers to encourage and strengthen Ignatius as he faced martyrdom in Rome. So uplifting was their visit that Ignatius wrote a letter thanking them for their thoughtfulness and care. In this letter he praises their love, commending them as a church ‘characterized by faith in and love of Christ Jesus our Savior.’ He rejoices that they ‘love nothing in human life, only God.’ He also comments on their church overseer, Onesimus, calling him ‘a man of inexpressible love.’ Ignatius goes on to write that in the Ephesian representatives who visited him in Smyrna he could see the love of the whole church in Ephesus.

“Thus, at the very beginning of the second century, we know that the church in Ephesus was very much alive. It was sound in doctrine and abounding in love. The Ephesian believers had obeyed the Lord’s call to remember, repent, and do their first works. As a result, the church’s love was restored. ‘He who has an ear,’ declares the Lord, ‘let him hear what the Spirit says to the churches’ (Rev. 2:7).” pp 68-69

Oh, the Love!

2011-06-22T07:27:00.001-07:00

Dear Readers,

In His good and gracious mercy, God has been teaching me about love lately: about His love for me, what my love for Him ought to be, and what my love for His body ought to be. The fact of the matter is, as a young, inexperienced child you think that marriage must be perfect. Your parents do their best not to fight (around you), so you think everything must be rosy all the time. And, of course, the church, the family of God and body of Christ, must be the same way... right?

Wrong! The fact is, sometimes the church (I hesitate to use that term in such a context) can be a place of more hate than love, more anger than peace, and more fear than boldness. But these things ought not be so!

One man who realises this is Alexander Strauch, author of Love or Die. I just finished reading this skinny little book, which in spite of its size and outward appearance, is full of profound theological and practical truth. At first glance, my impression was that the book was written for those who wandered away from the faith, because the verse on the front was Revelation 2:4, "You have abandoned the love you had at first." Not really knowing the context of this statement, and with a title like "Love or Die," I picked it up to send to my friend who turned his back on the Lord. I'm sure glad that I had the good sense to read it before sending it with that assumption, because the book is about something completely different: a church losing its love for God and for the members that make up its body. This amazing little book has challenged me to keep on loving (even when it hurts) and has spurred me on to finding loving solutions to conflicts in my life. I highly recommend it to you for your careful reading, study, and prayer. I think it is a book everyone needs to read.

With thoughts of love on my mind, this song has been more than occasionally heard around my house this week :)

Highest height or darkest deep, be there pain or poverty,
There is nothing that can keep my Redeemer's love from me.

All alone though I may feel, all the world my enemy,
Still there's no one that can steal my Redeemers love from me.

Oh the love of my redeemer, never failing, come what may,
He has purchased my forgiveness and has washed my sins away.

Although burdened by the pain of great trial or tragedy,
None of these can separate my Redeemer's love from me.

Oh the love of my redeemer, never failing, come what may,
He has purchased my forgiveness and has washed my sins away.

Though the earth's foundation's shake, driving wind or raging sea,
neither life nor death can take my redeemer's love from me.

Through this world's few passing days, and through all eternity,
I will never cease to praise my redeemer's love for me.

Oh the love of my redeemer, never failing, come what may,
He has purchased my forgiveness and has washed my sins away.

Oh the love of my redeemer, never failing, come what may,
He has purchased my forgiveness and has washed my sins away.

Oh the love of my redeemer never failing come what may,
He has purchased my forgiveness and has washed my sins away.

Basking in my Redeemer's love,

~Nella Camille

Aplomb Enough to Take Responsibility

2011-06-12T19:40:00.000-07:00

Clegg weathered his part of the cross-examination, and showed one of the traits that endeared him to the faculty when he told Reilly outright in response to a question, "Look, the breach in security came from a committee I chaired. I do not believe it was a member of the committee who violated this trust. I fear the leak came from someone in my office, who, in the excitement concerning Mr. Gossen's suicide, revealed the vote. Several people had access to that information. But Mr. Reilly, be that as it may, the buck stops with me in such matters. If you are looking for the person responsible for letting out the information about the negative votes of Bell and Barrett and Danzig, and myself for that matter, you can stop with me!"

This excerpt from The Fatal Equilibrium, a novel written by Marshall Jevons, reminds me of the importance to take responsibility. Even though Clegg did not directly confess any information as to who might have leaked the votes of the Harvard Promotion and Tenure committee, he was man enough to take the responsibility upon himself as the Dean of the Institution and the chairman of the P & T committee. That's an admirable quality for a leader to have.

Unfortunately, not many leaders these days seem to have this quality. I was reading this section of the book around the time of May 21st when Mr. Harold Camping's prediction that "the end of the world is here!" failed. While most believers from all corners of the earth wish that Camping would take responsibility for his own actions, I think we can learn a few lessons from our imaginary dean.

1. We need to realise that we know less eschatology than we think that we know. This was one of Camping's biggest downfalls: he believed he knew something that even Jesus (whether in his incarnated state alone or even to this day) said He did not know (Matthew 24:36). But any number of predictions or speculations can go along with that, such as Barack Obama being the antichrist, Roman Catholicism or Islam being the one-world religion, or what 666 really means.

2. We need to realise that many well-intentioned Jews (read: scribes and Pharisees) who were among the religious leadership were quite wrong about Jesus' first coming, and many godly men and women are likely to be wrong about the second coming.

3. We need to realise that we cannot be silent. When unbelievers are all in a tizzy pre-May 21st, mocking Camping's teachings by singing "It's the End of the World as We Know It (And I Feel Fine)", or ridicule the bill boards and the travelers who sold everything for a cause they foolishly believed in, we need to take unapologetically a stand on the word of God and defend what the Bible really teaches.

4. We need to realise that others are often passionate about the wrong things, but the Spirit of God has given us a perfect and more sure word of prophecy. That is something we should be excited about! Excitement and passion are not only for the wackos; in fact, they should be reserved for those who have the truth.

Remember the quote from the beginning of this post? You want to know what's crazy about it? Denton Clegg was telling the truth. The buck did stop with him. He did leak the information. He took responsibility for something that really was his fault . . . but he did it in such a twisted and manipulative way that no one realised it until he had already murdered Dennis Gossen, Morrison Bell, and Foster Barrett. Don't make excuses and pious-sounding statements. Be genuine in your confessions, beliefs, and explanations. Because the world will figure out your lies a lot quicker than anyone figured out that Denton Clegg was a fraud of a scholar and a murderer of three innocent people. And in your case if you are a believer, the stakes are even higher than three lives: it is the glory of God that is at stake, and your testimony as a believer in His Name and member of His church.

P.S. The Fatal Equilibrium is a fictitious murder mystery that I read in an effort to teach myself economics. It is quite a good book, and I highly recommend it. Just don't read it late on at night at the end of October in a house all by yourself.

A Chance Most People Don't Have

2011-05-26T07:57:00.000-07:00

Heat lightning illuminated the sky from west. As we turned onto Norcross, I cringed. We were headed right into the storm. We couldn't get home to soon for my peace of mind. Knowing that the most dangerous place during a tornado is in your vehicle did little to set me at ease.

When we got home, I quickly went up to my room to grab my lappy. What else should I grab? I thought for half a second. My eye fell on my journals. Seven books, six years of hand-written history. Definitely worth saving.

Last night, I had a chance most people don't have. With a tornado warning active county-wide until 10 PM last night, we had plenty of warning even after getting home from church later than usual to grab anything we might deem valuable enough to save in the event that our house was lifted away while we huddled together in the basement. And I chose to grab my Bible, my lappy, and my journals. Given more time to reflect, I also would have stuffed the letters and cards I have received over the last two years into my large purse.

What would you save if you only had one bag to fill? Clothes? Shoes? Music? Craft supplies? Books? (My bookcase wouldn't come close to fitting in my bag, so I decided they were more negotiable.)

Today I woke up. In my bed. With my house still standing. With no damage. I praised God. But it made me think. Today I praised God because He delivered us out of a storm. Would I still praise Him if there had been no storm? Would I praise Him if all He had spared was our lives, my lappy, my Bible, and my journal?

Just something to think about.

His Heart's Desire

2011-05-20T12:40:00.000-07:00

A few weeks ago after getting back to Dixon after yet another late-night study session at the library, I grabbed my computer and sat out in the hall and started reading Psalm 119. I was reading to answer three questions:

What actions does the Psalmist use in reference to the Word?
What attitudes does the Psalmist have toward the Word?
What are the benefits of loving the Word?

The more I read, the more I was struck by the words I was coming up with. I scribbled a few into the margins of my Bible.

Actions - walk, keep/kept, eyes fixed, store up, declare, delight, meditate, behold/see, seek
Attitudes - delight, diligence, steadfastness, praise, whole-heartedly, longing, humility
Benefits - blessing, purity, greater holiness, life, God's strength, peace

I think what stuck out to me most was that the words listed are not words that we often hear associated with our daily Bible reading. Instead of "duty," "obligation," or "obedience" describing the Psalmist's motivation, I read about "delight" and "longing." In fact, the attitudes I hear expressed in regard to daily Bible reading are sometimes so antithetical to what the Psalmist writes about here with such rapture and appreciation that I wonder, "Is he reading the same Bible everyone else is?" And then it hit me: we read the Bible, but that's all we do.

If you just read the Bible, your eyes will not shed streams of tears if people don't follow God's Law. If you just read the Bible, you won't hate every false way (just the ones that seem particularly bad, but not the ones you walk). If you just read the Bible, you won't cry out to God with your whole heart. You won't delight in it, you won't long for it, you won't steadfastly seek it, and you won't lose sleep for it.

The problem with most of us today is that we read the Bible, and we are satisfied with that achievement. Few of us delight in the law of the LORD and meditate on it day and night.

When this understanding washed over my being, I'm sure you could have knocked me down with a toothpick. That little word, "delight," hit me right between the eyes, and I was down on the ground quicker than Goliath was after he was hit by David's well-aimed stone.

I still don't know how to get to the point where my delight thermostat reads as high as this Psalmist's does. I wish I had the steadfastness of this servant of the LORD. Right now I don't, but I make it my aim to pursue his heart's desire this summer by

Memorizing 2 Corinthians 5 and intentionally meditating on it
Getting up 15 minutes earlier so that I will prioritize Bible reading and prayer

What is your heart's desire? How are you pursuing it?

Thoughtfully yours,

~Nella Camille

1 Peter Summary Paper

2011-05-03T14:00:00.000-07:00

I accidentally wrote part of this paper incorrectly, but I liked it and couldn't justify deleting it, so I decided to preserve a copy here for future reference. Hope you enjoy it!

Summarize four or more major biblical or theological truths from the book of 1 Peter.

Four of Peter’s main themes stood out to me. The first was the idea that as believers we follow Christ’s example when we suffer. All scholars recognize that suffering is a major theme in 1 Peter. We see this right off the bat when Peter begins discussing suffering in the second paragraph of his letter (1 Peter 1:6-7). But if Peter’s comments were limited to, “In this you greatly rejoice, even though for now if for a little while, if necessary, you have been distressed by various trials,” believers would probably still be discouraged. Praise God Peter goes on to say, “For you have been called for this purpose, since Christ also suffered for you, leaving you an example for you to follow in His steps” (1 Peter 2:21)! From this we learn that Christ’s sufferings clearly had an impact on Peter, who was an eyewitness of Jesus’ life, and that beyond that, the implications of the way Christ suffered also impacted these believers. He left all of us an example, and this theme is discussed elsewhere in the book (see 3:18, 4:1a, 4:15-19).

The second encouraging theme of 1 Peter was something we perhaps don’t think about in connection with 1 Peter: grace. Nonetheless, the word “grace” appears eight times in the NASB (1 Peter 1:2, 10, 13; 3:7; 4:10; 5:5, 10, 12). It appears in 1 Peter as something believers have in abundance, something that came through Jesus Christ, and something that helps us persevere to the end. Grace leads to life and is given by God, particularly to the humble, because He is the God of all grace.

The third which shows up on several occasions in this book is God’s election, choosing, or calling of His children. We see this at the very beginning of the epistle when Peter greets his audience by declaring that what they have in common (despite being from all different regions of modern Turkey) is that they have all been chosen by God (1:1). The theme of being chosen is discussed most prominently in 1 Peter 2:4-12 when Peter encourages his audience by reminding them that although they are rejected by the world, nothing can alter the fact that God has chosen them and loves them. Beyond that, they are also a royal priesthood, a holy nation, and a people for God’s own possession. All that matters is their identity before God, and He has shown mercy by calling them out of darkness and into the kingdom of His marvelous light. Peter concludes this section by appealing to their calling as a motivation for holy living. He makes reference to election again at the end of chapter 2, and this is also in relation to suffering, telling them that they have been called so that they might suffer patiently for doing good, just as Christ our example did (2:21). Election is cited as an encouragement in 1 Peter 5:10 where Peter points out that since God has called them, He will also perfect, confirm, strengthen, and establish them through and after trials. Finally, at the very end of this letter, Peter says, “She who is in Babylon, together with you, sends you greetings” (1 Peter 5:13). Although being a believer and suffering for Jesus might seem like a lonely task at times, knowing that there are other churches in other parts of the world suffering for the same causes is encouraging.

A final major theme in the book of 1 Peter is the will of God, a phrase appearing five times in the book (2:15; 4:2, 6, 19; 5:2. Other passages that refer to the will of God in straight-forward language are Romans 8:27, 12:2; 2 Corinthians 8:5; Ephesians 6:6; Colossians 4:12; 1 Thessalonians 4:13, 5:18; Hebrews 10:36; and 1 John 2:17). Although most people think that searching for the will of God is a subjective, emotional, feelings-oriented sort of business, 1 Peter makes it clear that the opposite is true. Peter says that God’s will is that believers silence the ignorance of foolish men by doing right, that believers live for His will, that believers who are suffering entrust their souls to Him, and that elders serve willingly. These passages clearly state that finding God’s will is not something that is meant to be confusing, but rather teach that as long as we are not living in sin but are living biblically, we are following God’s will for our lives. Finding out the particulars of our lives (Who should I marry? Where should I go to college? What should I study?) might seem like difficult questions to ask, but so long as we are pleasing to the Lord in our actions and attitudes, we have no reason to fear that we might somehow be outside of His will for our lives.

How you are applying these overall truths of 1 Peter to your life personally?

A topic I’ve been meditating on and studying a lot in the last year or so is discipleship. My friend’s pastor refers to being a disciple of Jesus as “walking in Jesus’ dust.” I really like that metaphor. It helps me to think about what following Christ really means. One way that we follow in the dust of our Rabbi is following His example in all things, including and especially the way that He suffered. I am so challenged by the thought that Jesus did not talk back when he was reviled. I talk back a lot, and it’s something I’ve been asking the Spirit to convict me of and keep me from. But I have a long way to go in following the example of Christ while suffering! I need to keep trusting God, knowing that He places suffering in my life for a reason.

At the same time while I am working on growing in conformity to Jesus’ example, I am encouraged by God’s grace in saving and choosing me. He did not have to save me, but He did, simply because He chose to love me. Grace, by definition, is unmerited favor. Because of 1 Peter 5:5-6, I know that if I confessing my repeated shortcomings and failures, God is quick to meet me with forgiveness and still more grace to encourage me to persevere in doing the right thing.

Finally, I find 1 Peter 4:19 so encouraging. “Therefore, those who suffer according to the will of God shall entrust their souls to a faithful Creator in doing what is right.” The phrase “who suffer according to the will of God” does not imply that some suffer because willed it and that others suffer in spite of what God did to prevent it, but rather that all who suffer are suffering because God – for His sovereign purposes – ordained and planned it. To me, that is encouraging. It is not just the grace that flows from my Abba’s hand; it is also the pain, suffering, heartbreak, death, disappointment, and anguish. All of it has come to me through His loving supervision. I can’t necessarily apply the fact that all suffering comes from God, but I can take hope from that. I can apply the fact that God is in control by trusting Him.

What has been significant to you in doing an inductive study of a New Testament book?

For starters, it is the first inductive study of a New Testament book I have ever done, but not the first inductive study I have ever undertaken. So I would say this study was ground-breaking in a lot of ways. I know I have a long way to go in some areas, like asking questions of the text and having patience to sit through and read the whole book several times in a row for one lesson (J).

A significant part of this study for me was studying a book with problem passages, such as 1 Peter 3:18-22. If your whole concept of Bible study involves reading a chapter each morning, you will miss out on the difficult yet rewarding business of wrestling with verses like this to at least try to understand what the author is saying. And, along with that, I learned the helpfulness of taking notes on what different commentators have to say about the same text, and then comparing the notes later.

The final significant part of this study for me was learning which New Testament commentators or series of commentaries communicate at a level which I can grasp with my miniscule knowledge of Greek. Before this study, I wouldn’t say I was intimidated by commentaries, but I definitely did not understand how useful they could be. I mainly relied in study Bible notes, but found myself frustrated because the questions I had were not always addressed, or were only addressed at a shallow level. After familiarizing myself with more commentaries, I feel ready to do study with the right tools. By way of analogy, the difference before and after is comparable to making bread in a bread-maker versus making bread completely by hand. When you use a machine, you have to assemble and combine all the ingredients, but the elements of the art of bread-making are not present. When you work totally by hand, the baker must knead, keep track of time, and form the dough into loaves. This extra work of kneading, timing, and forming is what I have learned to do through this class. While Bible study or making bread by hand might seem like a lot of work (because it is!), this class has also helped me see the immense spiritual and personal benefits of doing more than just the bare minimum.

Trust & Protection

2011-04-14T12:17:00.000-07:00

Trust has been on my mind lately, perhaps because it is one of my hard things. What does it mean to trust? One of the first things that comes to my mind is pain. Why? Because when you trust a person, you give them free reign to tell you the truth, hold you accountable, call you out, and potentially disappoint you. You make yourself vulnerable. You open your heart, displaying it in full view, and paint a bulls-eye on it, proclaiming, "Hit me here, right where it hurts!" But that's not what it means to trust in God. Trusting a fallible man or woman is painful - no doubt about that one! But trusting God, on the other hand, means stability, constancy, comfort, love, honesty, and protection. To trust in man is to expose one's self to the elements; to trust in God is to seek protection from them. "Some trust in chariots, and some in horses, but we will trust in the name of the LORD our God." Psalm 20:7 From the dust of the Rabbi, ~Nella Camille

The Written Record

2011-03-31T18:34:00.000-07:00

Hi, friends!

When I was six, I asked for a diary for Christmas. It was one of those that came with a little fake key and lock that never really worked, but of course I always locked it so that my brother couldn't see what I was writing. I wrote stupid little entries that started out, "Dear Diary" and signed them, "Love, Camille." After a while I lost interest in it, but later I used my first diary for drawing pictures of scraggly trees and glorious hillsides. Then I became a writer, and started writing my "Niagra" story (yup, I couldn't even spell "Niagara" when I was eight) in that same diary with the broken, rusty lock. I tore out the old pages, but left the drawings. Those were places in Niagra, so they could stay.

When I turned twelve, a friend gave me a journal. It was spiral bound with a artsy-fartsy heart and squiggles pattern on the front, and came with a tasseled book mark. I honestly don't remember what I wrote in that journal.

But when I was thirteen, something about journaling clicked inside of me. Perhaps it was the inner urge to record my thoughts and dreams that we all want to pass down to our children. Maybe it was that I felt perhaps one day my life would be historic, even if the daily events of my life as an eighth-grader weren't too exciting. But in that journal that I started then (it was lavender with three sea-shells on the cover, and college-ruled lines) I decided to record something more important than the run-of-the-mill, "I'm writing a paper about the Revolutionary War" humdrum of homeschool. This journal was a prayer journal.

I'd never prayed very much in my life, to be honest. I never could seem to focus. I didn't like praying aloud (what if someone heard me? That'd be kinda weird), and if I prayed silently I would become easily distracted. So I started writing out my prayers. Writing out what I said to the LORD made me think about it more. Its funny going back and reading journals from the old days. Besides the fact that my spelling was atrocious and my hand-writing not much better, I prayed some really silly stuff. (Like, "God, give me patience, and give it to me right now!" Yeah . . . . )

I remember when I finished that first journal and walked into Big Lots to buy a new one. It was kind of a weird feeling. For the past year of my life, I had recorded my inmost wishes and expressions of praise to God. It was a record of my sins, disappointments, trials, blessings, and secrets. For the first time in my life, I could be completely honest. That journal was a book of memories of precious times spent with my Saviour and the King of the Universe. On the last page instead of recording a prayer, I wrote out a song. I don't remember which one offhand. It might have been "Shout to the North," but on second thought, I'm pretty sure I wrote that at the end of my second journal, not my first. Anyways, that's immaterial.

Today I finished my seventh journal, if I'm remembering all of them correctly. I filled up this last journal much quicker than any other one before. It only took me seven months. This morning I was reflecting back on those months. I started writing last August. I was living in Pennsylvania at home for two weeks, and then I was going to fly out to California for WOW week. But when I arrived in California . . . well, you all know the story. I had my relapsed. College, what I prized most, was slipping away.

The next few months were challenging. I could hardly muster the energy to go to church, and when I got to church, I had to lie down in the back row. My strength was exhausted by going outside for more than fifteen or twenty minutes at a time. I felt trapped and lonely inside a prison that was limited by my physical strength. It was hard.

At the same time, I had a lot of time to spend on things I'd neglected. I established a regular devotional life once again. I took a three-credit class from Master's on the Life of Christ and got involved in scholarship again. And I read. A lot. I would read three-hundred pages a day if my energy permitted. But I spent a lot of time flat on my back, too, unable to move.

On October 13th, I'd had about enough. I was sick of being sick. I had re-read Polishing God's Monuments about Juli Andrews and her battle with CFS, MCS, and other illnesses. I was close to despair when the thought hit, "What if I'm this way for the rest of my life?" I did not want to be an invalid. The year spent at the Mission seemed like a huge waste if I was going to end up bedridden for the rest of my life, unable to do any bi-sense activity (let alone tri-sense!). That night after coming home from church, I pulled out a legal pad and wrote down a list of all the food we had in the house. Anything with sugar in it got written down with a "no bueno" next to it. Whatever didn't have sugar or high fructose corn syrup was good.

I know it sounds weird, but the next day I felt better. A few weeks later I felt well enough to reapply to Chick-fil-A, and I started working there in November. As long as I didn't eat anything with sugar in it or only consumed a few grams a day (like, less than 10) I was fine. Hope was there for me. I also discovered that I had a high level of sensitivity to caffeine. Any time I drank coffee or my adored chai tea lattes, my energy levels would plummet.

Okay, what's all this got to do with journalling? Well, all this came flooding back to me this morning. Now I'm able to walk. I'm able to talk. I'm able to work. I'm able to lift things that weigh more than six pounds. (That was my body's limit while I was sick. I'm not even kidding.) I'm even able to do all those things at the same time if I need or want to.

To most people, that doesn't seem very incredible, but when I flip through my journal, I'm reminded of the times when I despaired of being able to live a normal life. God has proved that He is faithful. He heard my prayers for my health. He listened, and He answered. And all I can do is praise Him.

My journals are my monuments. They are markers, commemorating God's intervention into my life when I most desperately needed His help.

Do you journal? If you don't, I think you should give it a try. It will help you recognise the faithfulness and hand of God.

Walking in the dust of the Rabbi,
~Camille

A Description of a Believer

2011-03-23T16:51:00.000-07:00

As I was reading an assignment, I can across this extended quotation, taken from a letter written by a disciple of the apostles. As you read it, evaluate your own life.

Christians are distinguished from other men neither by country, nor language, nor the customs which they observe. For they neither inhabit cities of their own, nor employ a peculiar form of speech, nor lead a life which is marked out by any singularity. The course of conduct which they follow has not been devised by any speculation or deliberation of inquisitive men; nor do they, like some, proclaim themselves the advocates of any merely human doctrines. But, inhabiting Greek as well as barbarian cities . . . and following the customs of the natives in respect to clothing, food, and the rest of their ordinary conduct, they display to us their wonderful and confessedly striking method of life. They dwell in their own countries, but simply as sojourners. As citizens, they share in all things with others, and yet endure all things as foreigners. Every foreign land is to them as their native country, and ever land of their birth as a land of strangers. They marry, as do all [others]; they beget children; but they do not destroy their offspring. They have a common table, but not a common bed. They are in the flesh, but they do not live after the flesh. They pass their days on earth but they are citizens of heaven. They obey the prescribed laws, and at the same time surpass the laws by their lives. They love all men, and are persecuted by all. They are unknown and condemned; they are put to death, and restored to life. They are poor; yet make many rich; they are in lack of all things, and yet abound in all; they are dishonored, and yet in their very dishonor are glorified. They are evil spoken of, and yet are justified; they are reviled, and bless; they are insulted, and repay the insult with honor; they do good, yet are punished as evil doers.

Do you act like a "resident alien" (that's what R.A. really stands for - just kidding, Kayla!), or do you act like just a resident?

How Do We Change Culture?

2011-03-21T23:15:00.000-07:00

"The only way to change culture is to create more of it." (Andy Crouch)

What do you think?

How Necessary Is The Great Commission?

2011-03-17T11:02:00.000-07:00

I've spent a ton of time reading and studying the Great Commission over the past week as I've been writing a research paper for Acts. (It's not due until the end of the semester, but with as many hours as it is taking me, I am very glad that I got a head start!) I've encountered a lot of unorthodox perspectives on the Great Commission. Once while searching a bit on Google for passages that support the call to go and make disciples, I bumped into this article written by a man who believes that the Great Commission is not to be observed today. Interesting . . . . :) Today, I am surveying A Biblical Theology of Missions (author George W. Peters; quote taken from p. 173) and I found this fascinating quote:

The Great Commission does not make Christianity a missionary religion. The latter is such because of its source, nature and total design. The apostles became missionaries not because of the indwelling Holy Spirit who is an outgoing and witnessing Spirit. Christ Himself speaks of the mission of the Holy Spirit as a witnessing mission (Jn 15:26; 16:8-15). Thus, if the particular words of the Great Commission had never been recorded or preserved, the missionary thrust and responsibility of the church would not be in the least affected. It prospers wherever Christianity is truly known, thoroughly believed, genuinely experienced, and implicitly obeyed.

I found the next to the last sentence interesting to contemplate. "If the particular words of the Great Commission had never been recorded or preserved, the missionary thrust and responsibility of the church would not be in the least affected." Of course, this is a hypothetical assertion, but just think about it. What, aside from the Great Commission, inspires you to mission service? Here are some things on my list, mostly sniched from other authors whose thoughts are swirling around in my brain from my research :)

Love for God - His greatness and glory throughout the nations
The missionary heart of God displayed in pursuing us with the truth
The example of Christ, who left the glories of heaven to give Himself to us and bring us salvation
The example of Paul, who considered his own life as nothing
Love for the nations, and sadness at their spiritual darkness
The compelling of the Spirit
The beauty and love of worship, and the desire to join with still more worshippers

Have a blessed day!

From the dust of our Rabbi,

~Camille

So Many Options!

2011-03-15T21:18:00.000-07:00

Have you ever stopped to count how many ministries women can be involved in? Consider this list from Recovering Biblical Manhood and Womanhood: A Response to Evangelical Feminism, edited by John Piper and Wayne Grudem. This list is called "Opportunities for Ministry" and has been reproduced from page 58.

Ministries to the handicapped
Hearing impared
Blind
Lame
Retarded
Ministries to the sick
Nursing
Physician
Hospice car--cancer, AIDS, etc.
Community health
Ministries to the socially estranged
Emotionally impaired
Recovering alcoholics
Recovering drug-users
Escaping prostitutes
Abused children, women
Runaways, problem children
Orphans
Prison ministries
Women's prisons
Families of prisoners
Rehabilitation to society
Ministries to youth
Teaching
Sponsoring
Open houses and recreation
Outings and trips
Counseling
Academic assistance
Sports ministries
Neighborhood teams
Church teams
Therapeutic counseling
Independent
Church-based
Institutional
Audiovisual ministries
Composition
Design
Production
Distribution
Writing ministries
Free-lance
Curriculum development
Fiction
Non-fiction
Edition
Institutional communications
Journalistic skills for publications
Teaching ministries:
Sunday school: children, youth, students, women
Grade school
High school
College
Music ministries
Composition
Training
Performance
Voice
Choir
Instrumentalist
Evangelistic ministries
Personal witnessing
Parachurch groups
Home Bible studies
Outreach to children
Visitation teams
Counseling at meetings
Telephone counseling
Radio and television ministries
Technical assistance
Writing
Announcing
Producing
Theater and drama ministries
Acting
Directing
Writing
Scheduling
Social ministries
Literacy
Pro-life
Pro-decency
Housing
Safety
Beautification
Drug rehabilitation
Pastoral care assistance
Visitation
Newcomer welcoming and assistance
Hospitality
Food and clothing and transportation
Prayer ministries
Praying
Mobilization for prayer events
Helping with small groups of prayer
Coordinating prayer chains
Promoting prayer days and weeks and vigils
Missions
All of the above across culture
Support ministries
Countless "secular" jobs that under-gird other ministries
The awesome significance of motherhood

Making a home as a full-time wife

How will you be used? How do you minister?

With Jesus

2011-03-04T11:34:00.000-08:00

On Sunday, my pastor at LHEF challenged us, "How do you want to be remembered when you die?" That question is in my mind a lot. I often contemplate the day of my death - not in a morbid sense, but with feelings of anticipation and joy. When a believer dies, he immediately experiences the presence of the LORD, who has called, regenerated, converted, justified, adopted, and kept him. What a concept! In fact, our salvation is so secure that He seals us with His Holy Spirit.

We are all slowly dying (some of us at quicker rates than others). This week was one of physical weakness for me. I came down with a stupid common cold. I was miserable in the mornings as I would walk to class, my throat aching. I had little energy or strength and didn't want to carry around my computer. I didn't want to go to work. I didn't want to sit up in a chair and read. But of course I did, because I'm still on earth, and all those things are my responsibility right now.

On Tuesday night, as I was relaxing and enjoying a nice hot shower, I was singing about heaven. My friend Michael sang Phil Wickham's "Heaven's Song" in church sometime recently, and I often have the chorus stuck in my head.

I wanna run on greener pastures
I wanna dance on higher hills
I wanna drink from sweeter waters in the misty morning chills.
My soul is getting restless for the place where I belong.
I can't wait to join with the angels and sing my heaven's song.

As I sang and contemplated heaven and my slowly dying body, I longed for release. I love Jesus, and I long to stand in His presence - complete, whole, and physical free from pain and suffering. Not that I mind the suffering, but I do mind being away from Jesus right now.

The next day, Wednesday, with thoughts of heaven and eternity still swirling in my brain, my dad called and left a voicemail asking me to call him back. I thought it was odd. He had called at 6:30 EST, which is when church is supposed to start back home. I didn't get his message until 4:00 PST (half hour later), but I called him while I was running an errand filling out some paperwork. He told me that my aunt Diane had suffered a massive stroke. Her condition was insurvivable. She might not last until the next day.

Suddenly, I felt like a blast of cold air had been pushed into my hot-air-balloon thoughts about heaven.

I collected my possessions from the library and slowly made my way up to my dorm room. I dropped everything but my bag with my Bible and journal. My roommate Esther had bought me three bright balloons - red, orange, and yellow - when my aunt went in the hospital two weeks ago. Miraculously, they still had helium in them and had stayed in the air. I took them with me, too. I half-walked, half-ran back out of my dorm, forgetting my phone in my hurry. I hiked uphill behind the dorms to the rugged hillside that rises above campus. I was going to the cross.

Not THE cross, the cross - the cross. It's one of the few quite places on campus. You can see everything from up there - all of the surrounding roads, parks, houses, cars, and other signs of life. The wind was pretty fierce up there. The balloons were flapping around crazily.

I tied the strings together up in a bundle and let them go. In a sort of symbolic way, I guess I wanted to send them ahead to heaven for her. (Please, don't laugh at me, even though that sounds completely ludicrous.) Mockingly, they almost landed on the roof of the caf (that would have been a downer), but just before they were about to touchdown someplace on campus, God sent an updraft along, and they shot upwards again. Over Placerita Canyon Road, down Quigley Canyon, over North Campus, and into the mountains beyond.

At this point, I realised I'd forgotten my phone, ran back to my room to get it, and returned to the cross. And then I sang as many Andrew Peterson songs about death as I could remember. And it started to rain.

I scampered back down the hill again and went to pick up some dinner, but it was hours later before I actually got to eat it. I think the caf was louder that night than I'd ever heard before. The noise smashed against my head. My eyes clouded over with mist and tears several times, but I never broke down. I couldn't cry; not with all those people around. I only wanted to talk to my friend Mike (the one who steals my cubicle in the library) and ask him to turn in my homework for me on Friday just in case I took off before then.

That night I spent some time talking with Esther. She had to run errands, and I knew I needed to get off campus, so I went with her. It felt good to get out in the cool evening air. I slept that night, but not a whole lot. I was pretty shaken. In the back of my mind was the thought, "You love heaven so much but you can't bear the idea of other people getting their first. What an ironic thing to be jealous about. Kinda weird. Not sure if that's good or bad."

The next day was Thursday. I didn't have any classes, but I went to the library to work on some assignments there. A friend Lara prayed with me as I was leaving to grab lunch and go to work. My family (immediate and extended) would be gathered in Florida by the time I was out of work (4:00 PST, 7:00 EST). They said their goodbyes, the kids went home, and the parents stayed at the hospital, waiting. After they took her off the life support, she only lasted a few hours. She was ready to go.

During this time, I was struggling for productivity at the library. In the span of two hours, I think I read six pages. No bueno. On a whim I posted on Facebook, "Anyone up for a night hike to the cross?" My friend Brett responded almost instantly. I told him to meet me outside of Dixon in twenty minutes. I dropped my things off in my room and asked Lani, who lives down the hall from me on my wing, if she'd like to go. While I was asking her, my dad called and said Aunt Diane was with Jesus.

So we trekked up that familiar hill again - Brett, Dallas, Daniel in front, Lani, Chipchase and in bringing up the rear. Weston met us up there a little while later. We talked and prayed. Chipchase read 1 Thessalonians 4:13-17, and we sang "It is Well," followed by "Victory in Jesus," "Amazing Grace," "Fairest Lord Jesus," and other favourites. As we sang, my heart thrilled with joy and peace. She's with Jesus, I thought. Just where I want to be.

Today in chapel we sang "The Glories of Calvary." I started crying when we reached these words: "And your saints below join with your saints above, rejoicing in the risen Lamb." Every time I sing to the LORD in praise now, I am joining my voice with a long line of godly men and women who have gone before. What unity there is in the body of Christ!

Thank you to my church family back home: thanks Cheryl, Mr. and Mrs. Jackson, Mr. and Mrs. Edwards, Mrs. Lofgren, and Jill.

Thanks to my church family here, especially Miss Price, Constanze, and Pastor Maddox.

Thanks you, faculty of TMC. Your understanding, love, and prayers have been amazing. Thanks especially to Miss Price and Dr. Wong for praying for my family in class. Thanks, Miss Price for calling me last night.

Thank you, TMC students: Esther, Ellie, Kayla, Rhi, Rae, Lani, Lara, Brett, Weston, Dallas, Daniel, Chipchase, and Mike. You all have rocked my world with your demonstrations of love and concern and willingness to help me - by doing everything from taking me to the airport,

Thank you, RaeAnna, Lara, Esther, Brett, Lani, and Weston for praying for and with me.

Thank you, Megan and Ellie, for the cards you left on my bed in my room.

Thanks, Hannah, for letting me borrow a carry-on.

And thank you, Jesus. Without you, none of this would be possible. Thank you for coming to earth and living a perfect life. Thank you for your bloody death on the cross. Thank you for rising again and giving us the hope of resurrection. Thank you for going ahead of us to prepare a place with us, so that where you are, we can be also.

"More" by Andrew Peterson

2011-03-02T21:27:00.001-08:00

This is not the end here at this grave

This is just a hole that someone made

Every hole was made to fill

And every heart can feel it still--

Our nature hates a vacuum

This is not the hardest part of all

This is just the seed that has to fall

All our lives we till the ground

Until we lay our sorrows down

And watch the sky for rain

There is more

More than all this pain

More than all the falling down

And the getting up again

There is more

More than we can see

From our tiny vantage point

In this vast eternity

There is more

A thing resounds when it rings true

Ringing all the bells inside of you

Like a golden sky on a summer eve

Your heart is tugging at your sleeve

And you cannot say why

There must be more

There is more

More than we can stand

Standing in the glory

Of a love that never ends

There is more

More than we can guess

More and more, forever more

And not a second less

There is more than what the naked eye can see

Clothing all our days with mystery

Watching over everything

Wilder than our wildest dreams

Could ever dream to be

There is more

Dusty Students

2011-02-23T16:21:00.001-08:00

Hello, faithful readers and inconsistent drop-ins :)

Today I want to explain to everyone the signature line I've been using recently. If you've gotten an e-mail, private message, forum post, etc., from me within the past two months or so, you've noticed that instead of signing off "Every blessing in Christ" like I did before, I've probably signed "From the dust of our Rabbi." A few people have asked me about this. A professor even assumed I was Jewish from my signature! So what's it mean?

The thought behind the dust of our Rabbi came out of a deep meditation on discipleship and prayer. Jesus calls us to follow Him. We are supposed to watch His every move: eat like He eats, talk like He talks, walk like He walks, interact like He interacts, study like He studies, pray like He prays, love like He loves. Whatever He does, we are to do. Whatever He does not do, we are not to do. However He does something, we're supposed to do it that way. We are to be carbon copies or copy cats of Jesus. The world should look at Nella Camille and not see Nella Camille, but should see Jesus.

How can we transform our lives that way? One excellent way is to read the Gospels, underline what Jesus does, and ask ourselves, "How can I do in my life, culture, and context, do what Jesus does here?" Sometimes we can't do exactly what Jesus does. (Anyone walked on water? And I mean water that isn't frozen, for all you Erie-ites!) But most of the time we can, and sadly most of the time we don't. Do we look at people with compassion like Jesus does? Do we denounce hypocrisy like Jesus does? Do we glorify God like Jesus does? The more you ask these questions, the more your thoughts turn to discipleship.

What does discipleship mean? It means following. It means imitating. It means becoming like the one you follow and imitate. So how do we become disciples of Jesus? We do it in this way: by walking in His dust.

So that's what it means when I sign me name, "From the dust of our Rabbi." Jesus is our Rabbi. He's our example, our teacher, and our guide. And I am His disciples, padawan, and student. I am walking in His dust, watching His every move, and depending on the Holy Spirit to make me a dusty student.

Are you covered in dust?

From the dust of the Rabbi,

~Nella Camille

Is this our understanding of Jesus' words?

2011-02-10T21:53:00.000-08:00

Christopher Wright offers a fascinating perspective on the Great Commission. From The Mission of God: God and the Nations in the New Testament, pp. 71 & 72.

The missionary mandate of Matthew 29:19, 20 [sic] explicitly asks the disciples to "go and make disciples." In reality, a closer examination of the grammar shows that the Commission consists of four verb forms: one main verb--an imperative--and three accompanying participles with modal force. To the surprise of many, the principle verb of the sentence is not "to go" but "to make disciples." Therefore, one is compelled to understand that the focus of Jesus' command is the making of disciples. To understand best this idea, remember that all those present were disciples who would remember how they came to be disciples in their relationship with Jesus, their following him, their fellowship with him, and their learning from him. Thus, they would intuitively have understood that all that Jesus had done to help them become his disciples is what they must work to accomplish in the lives of others.

A College Update

2011-02-09T20:09:00.000-08:00

So, I suppose it's about time to give y'all lovely readers an update. This is something I've been meaning to do for weeks, as usual, and put off until mentally incapable of reading another book :) This is the run-down of what's up at The Master's College.

Chapel

Chapel is for sure a high light of campus life. After arriving, we kicked off the semester with Truth and Life Conference. Our speakers were Dr. John MacArthur (of course!), Pastor Alexander Strauch, and Pastor Voddie Baucham. The theme of the conference was leadership. As expected, I think Pastor Baucham was my favourite. He gave two excellent messages - one on servant leadership, and the other on the husband's leadership in the home. Since TLC, my favourite chapel speaker hands down was probably Kevin DeYoung. (Justin, if you're reading this, I promise I'm not rubbing it in!!) I even got to meet him and his wife Trisha in the bookstore after chapel!!

Pastor DeYoung preached for us two days (Monday and Wednesday). Apparently he preached from the exact same text as Dr. MacArthur had the day before at Grace Community Church, which was quite a strange coincidence! His second sermon he got as far away from Mark as he could by going to Joshua and preaching on prayers of exasperation and desperation. He remarked that God often responds in one of three ways: "Get up," "It's done," or "My grace is sufficient." As he was listening, I often thought about how those answers were exactly the answers God gave me while I was praying for six months last year that He would take mono away from me.

Dorm Life

This semester I'm living in an awesome all-girls dorm called Dixon. I love Dixon! The girls are so friendly, sweet, and warm! My roommate is way-awesome, too. She's an English major, so we have a bit in common. (If she comes to mind, please pray for her right now. She's sick =P.)

Classes

Classes are everything I expected they would be, and more! My first class MWF is Daniel, which meets from 8:00-8:55. A nice, light class to start off the morning ;) Our teacher, Dr. Wong, is an amazing man of God. If you Google his name you can find a video of his testimony, how God brought him out of communist China and brought him to America. He was telling us in class this morning that he only had the equivalent of a second-grade education when he came over to the states to become a student at The Master's College . . . and yet he graduated with a 4.0 and went on to get his PhD at the Seminary! He attributes his academic success to the providence of God and told us how he would spend all night studying, and instead of taking the full time to take his tests he would pray for the first fifty minutes and in the remaining minutes fill out his answers, getting an A+ on each one.

My second class on MWF is Christian Theology, which doesn't meets from around 1-2. My teacher Dr. Thorsell has an interesting sense of humor and thinks of the strangest analogies to communicate his point, but he's a good teacher :) Right now we are almost finished studying anthropology and will soon move on to hamartiology. Our primary textbook is Wayne Grudem's Systematic Theology, or more affectionately, SysTheo. I'm glad to have already read this book with my Sisters of the Armour. As I page through it, I see our funny remarks, questions, and interpretations, all of which are coming in handy for me!

Every MW I also have Acts, which meets from approximately 2:00-3:30. Dr. Chou is a brilliant man. He has a way of systematizing how the book of Acts fits perfectly historically, theologically, and eschatologically! His diagrams are really quite impressive. You can see one below. Sorry if it doesn't make any sense; I guess you have to be there to understand what he's talking about!!

Mondays are by far my longest day, because I also have a night class with Dr. Tatlock from 6:30-9:30. This class (The Gospel, Culture, and Vocation) requires a lot of reading and research. Right now I'm working on the first section of my vocational portfolio, which includes historic examples of persons in my field (missions), a summary timeline of those involved in missions, and examples of creative access or urban reform. Since at this point, God seems to be directing me most strongly towards Ecuador, I based most of my research off of that country.

On TuTh I only have one class - Principles of Personal Bible Study, which meets from 9:30-11:00 with Betty Price. I just realised on Tuesday that I spend at least an hour in room 203 in the BSC building every day because Daniel and PPBS both meet there. I enjoy only having one class these days; makes for a bit of a catch-up time in the middle of the busyness! This class involves a lot of inductive Bible study. So far we've studied Philemon superficially and will be studying 1 Peter in depth. We have 12 (or 13?) take-home lessons to complete in this book. Since each lesson requires reading the whole book at least once, I am counting on reading 1 Peter a lot this semester!

Church

I have made Living Hope Evangelical Fellowship my church home during my time at TMC. I enjoy the small family-atmosphere, the good expositional preaching, and the weekly observance of the Lord's Supper. Since Living Hope only meets once a week (Lord's Day morning) I attend Grace Community Church in the evenings with my friends Nate and Rocio. And speaking of friends . . . .

Friends

Sadly I hardly remember anyone who I met in August for WOW week (with the exception of my fellow WOWees, of course, Caleb, Dylan, and Gage). So this time around I've made a lot of friends! There's the girls on my wing (Lani and Lindsay, Elizabeth, Kayla and Ellie, Nikki, Brittany and Megan, and Kimberly) along with others in my dorm (Rhi, Sarah, Molly, Charity [fellow Rebelutionary!!], Rebekah, Lydia, Katie, Katherine, Rae, Jamie, and I'm sure I'm missing a few . . . )

There's also my Spring WOW family. Yup, they made me go through all that agony a second time. Just kidding! Spring WOW was much better for me. My WOW family this year was pretty big, actually. There were about 25 new students, so we did almost everything together instead of segregating into groups. My girls from this group are Rhi and Nikki (same as are in Dixon), Yecenia, and Love. I am so thankful for these people! My WOW brothers were Mike, Josh, and Adam. Mike and I have this psychic connection and long-standing argument of who gets to occupy the back cubicle in the library. I like to study in that spot because I can sit with my back on the floor. Not sure why he likes it so much, but every time I go in the library even if I'm not going to study back in the cubicles I check and see if he's there, and he usually is. The audacity of that goober, I'm tellin' ya!

On the whole, college is an amazing experience, and I love every minute. I pray for you all and think of you constantly.

From the dust of the Rabbi,

~Camille

P.S. Katie, I promise I will answer your question about my signature in my next post!

An Excellent Quote: John Stott

2011-02-09T07:19:00.000-08:00

Our Christian habit is to bewail the world's deteriorating standards with an air of self-righteous dismay. We criticize its violence, dishonesty, immorality, disregard for human life, and materialistic greed. "The world is going down the drain," we say with a shrug. But whose fault is it? Who is to blame? Let me put it like this. If the house is dark when night fall comes, there is no sense in blaming the house, for that is what happens when the sun goies down. THe question to ask is "Where is the light?" If the meat goes bad and becomes inedible, there is no sense in blaming the meat, for that is what happens when bacteria are left alone to breed. The question to ask is "Where is the salt?" Just so, if society deteriorates and its standards decline, till it becomes like a dark night or stinking fish, there is no sense in blaming society, for that is what happens when fallen men and women are left to themselves, and when human selfishness is unchecked.. The question to ask is "Where is the church? Why are the salt and light of Jesus Christ not permeating and changing our society?" It is sheer hypocrisy on our part to raise our eyebrows, shrug our shoulders or wring our hands. The Lord Jesus told us to be the world's salt and light. If therefore darkness and rottenness abound, it is our fault and we must accept the blame.

John Stott, Issues Facing Christians Today, p. 67

There are Ghosts and Giants in my Bedroom

2010-12-27T06:32:00.000-08:00

There's a ghost living in my bedroom, and every now and then, I decide to release him. His name is Jonathan Edwards. He's in good company. There are many other ghosts in my bedroom, and giants, too. There's John Calvin, Wayne Grudem, C. S. Lewis, and Corrie Ten Boom.

On Christmas morning, I decided that I needed to re-read Jonathan Edwards' Resolutions. The last time I'd done that was on my 18th birthday, more than a year in the past now. I was convicted once again as I realised how short I fall from my own resolutions, let alone Jonathan Edwards'! As I read, I was impressed by something I hadn't really noticed before: before the text of the Resolutions began, Edwards wrote, "Being sensible that I am unable to do anything without God's help, I do humbly entreat him by his grace to enable me to keep these resolutions, so far as they are agreeable to his will, for Christ's sake. Remember to read over these resolutions once a week." I don't think I'd ever noticed this short author's note at the beginning. It reminds me of two things: (1) our utter dependence on God to do anything towards the goal of working out our salvation with fear and trembling; and (2) the forgetful nature of man. Mr. Edwards wrote these Resolutions with his own hand, and yet he had to remind himself to read over them once a week for the purpose of personal examination and reflection. We forget what we promise God we will do very often.

Some time ago, I circled resolutions that I felt I needed to work hard at applying, but re-reading them on Christmas morning, I decided to hang it all and just do what Edwards himself did: read his resolutions once a week, and I'd challenge you to do the same.

I was very pleased with my idea. Edwards was such a great man of God, and certainly if he thought it important to read these resolutions, it must be a good idea. If he needed reminders like these, every Christian should!

A few hours later when the conviction had worn down a bit, I had a terrifying thought. Would reading Jonathan Edwards' Resolutions once a week be a legalistic standard? The idea hit me so forcibly that I sat down to think about it and pray over my decision again. And then a verse came to mind from 1 Corinthians 11:1 - "Be imitators of me, as I am of Christ."

My goal in life is not to be like Jonathan Edwards. He was indeed a godly man, but he was a fallen man. My goal in life is to be like Jesus. He was a godly man, and He was the perfect God-Man. I certainly can't be entirely like Him, but He is my standard and my aim. But Jonathan Edwards followed Christ, and I am trying to follow Christ as well. At the very least, I know I am in good company.

And then I looked at the Resolutions again, and at the note Mr. Edwards had written. I prayed to God, "I do not ask that You would make me a giant ghost like Jonathan Edwards after my death, but that You would make me more and more like Jesus with each thought, action, and hour."

I picked up the Resolutions. They are an encouraging tool. They are biblically based, and strongly express a standard of holiness. I might not read them once a week, but I will try and incorporate them more into my life. No, they aren't perfect, but they help imperfect people trying to walk in Jesus' dust. And I know they have helped me in the past, and will continue to help me in the future.

So, who is your favourite friendly ghost, and how has he or she inspired you? Tell me in the comment section, or on your own blog, and make sure to let me know your thoughts!

From the dust of our Rabbi,
~Camille

Tentative College Plans

2010-12-22T07:20:00.000-08:00

So I'm not sure how many of you are wondering about what's been going on with my college decisions and education, but for any and all who are interested, I have come with an update :)

I title this post "Tentative College Plans" because I have come to realise that all plans are tentative. I've never made a concrete plan in my life, because I am not ultimately in control of my life. As I've written before, "If you want to make God laugh, tell Him your plans" (from the movie, Bella), has been my tag line for this year. He delights in taking our plans and expectation and exchanging them for His own!

Right now, I am registered for The Master's College Spring 2011 semester, and for the first time in over a year, I am genuinely excited about going to college again. Before, I was always excited to get a degree, spend more time in school, and going to California. The year at the Mission changed a lot of that . . . as did the recurring theme in my bank statement, which loudly screamed, "You're broke" month after month. Getting a degree seemed waaaaay too expensive. Excitement over being in school never changed. I'm just a nerd when it comes to that. A week in California followed by eleven months in Robbinsville showed me that I will never ever fit into the California lifestyle, but I am looking forward to a warmer climate, I must confess. And then, there was the health side of things. I couldn't get excited about going to Master's in August; I simply didn't have enough energy!!

So, lest you think I laid around for the past four months, I'm here to let you know otherwise. Although I was flat on my back until mid-October, I took an online class, wrote a novel, and reapplied at Chick-fil-A and went back to work after my recovery. And now, I'm registered for classes. I got online and found insurance. I investigated plane tickets, body scanners, and pat downs and then quickly decided that I was taking the train West instead of flying. (God provided a man in our church who even bought my ticket from Toledo to Los Angeles, so I am only paying $27 to travel across the country!!) And, of course, I registered for classes. That's the most important and most exciting part, in my opinion!

I'll be taking Daniel (with Dr. Wong); Christian Theology 2 (with Paul Thorsell); Principles of Personal Bible Study (with Betty Price); the Gospel, Culture, and Vocation (with Mark Tatlock); and Acts (with Abner Chou, I think). I might decide to add one more class, if I can handle it physically. We'll see what God does.

So those are the college plans. I can't wait to go back and see the few friends I was able to make in my week out there in August. I can't wait to find a church out there and get plugged in. I can't wait to take the train ride. I can't wait to start classes. I can't wait to learn and see what God wants to teach me.

Oh, and it occurred to me that I haven't posted any pictures on this blog in a very long time. A family friend took our picture last night (thanks, Tim!) and since we all look decent, I thought I would share it with my lovely readers.

Merry Christmas!

From the Dust of the Rabbi,
~Nella Camille

From the Dust

2010-12-20T05:53:00.000-08:00

Dear Abba,

I've been thinking about the way I pray. I always begin by addressing you - my Abba, Father, and protector. Then I go on to list names who I am praying for in the top left hand corner of my page. Some days I don't write anyone's name in particular, or they come to mind after I have prayed, and I insert the name afterwards. Sometimes I pray to you praising Your character, Your Truth, or Your Word. Sometimes I simply thank You for what You have done in my life recently. Usually once a week I lay my activities before You and commend my daily routines to You. Every now and then I spend time describing a situation that is distressing my heart.

And then, at the end, I use the password. Whatever I have lifted up to you, I sign off by writing, "In Jesus' Name, Amen." Or, if the prayer time was especially happy, I add an exclamation mark: "In Jesus' Name, Amen!" But what does that little phrase mean? Jesus said, "Whatever You ask in My name, it will be given to you, but does that really mean that our prayers should always end with "In Jesus' Name"? Since we are to pray in the Name of the Father, does that really mean that we write all our prayers to you like a letter, following the format, "Dear God," and "In Jesus' Name, Amen"?

Thank You for Your Spirit, LORD God, who gives us discernment and insight into Your mind. Thank You for Your Word, which clarifies my questions, and gives me answers!

You command us to pray to You unceasingly, and we sing,"Take my moments and my days/ Let them flow in ceaseless praise." If we live life as one long prayer to you, should we ever "sign off" our prayers? Should they ever end? Or is there something bigger going on here? I've listened to individuals pray who pause every few seconds and say, "in Jesus' Name," after every request. Is that what Your Word calls us to do? Is that any different from just saying "All these things I pray, in Jesus' Name"?

LORD God, forgive me for misunderstanding what it means to pray in Your Son's Name for all these years. Before, it's always been a password - a code to make my prayers heard. But now, my Abba, I think I understand what You mean when You tell us to pray in Jesus' Name.

"What's in a name?" I muse with Juliet. A name defines and informs. Your Name, Yahweh, tells us that You always have been, always are, and always will be. Jesus' name tells us, "God saves." Abraham's name was a promise of how You would bless Him. So what does Jesus' Name have to do with our prayers? His Name informs us of His character, and defines His role. Since You save, and You do it through Your Son, to pray in His name means not just to apply His name to all my petitions, but to pursue Your salvation through Him, and to pursue Him with my every breath and step.

To pray in Jesus' Name requires a life lived in Jesus' Name. Not just anyone can pray in His Name, because not everyone lives by His Name. In order to pray in His Name, I must first walk in His dust. I must submit my life to His teaching. I must repent of my sins and forsake them, and join Him in carrying the cross. I must share in His sufferings. I must leave all behind and walk forward, though none go with me.

So from the dust, Abba, I address You. Jesus walked in the dust before entering into glory, and that is what I must do too. My citizenship waits for me in Heaven, but before I am a citizen of the Land Above, I must walk on the earth below, walking in the dust of my Rabbi.

So In His Name - that is, From His Dust - I pray to You,
-Amen!

November Musings . . . in December

2010-12-06T16:25:00.000-08:00

So, in case you were wondering where on earth my creativity for the month of November went, I'm here to tell you! :) It was poured into a 116 page document, consisting of 1,327 paragraphs and nearly 60,000 words, and 329,540 characters (with spaces). I was consumed in the world of NaNoWriMo - writing furiously day and night to come up with a cohesive storyline, plot, characters, and themes. More about my novel will follow, I'm sure, as I get deeper into the editing process and am able to post excerpts.

But I did a lot of thinking, and I had a lot of spurts of creativity, but unfortunately, all my spare time was spent NaNo-ing, and so I didn't have time to write them down here. That said, I did have some blog-worthy thoughts, and I should have written them down, but alas, I did not. So, you'll be left with a few inexplicable taglines, of sorts, of which I spent a lot of mental energy crafting.

The first topic which my brain pondered was marriage and matchmaking. In the randomness of my brain, I began thinking about how matchmaking in most of its forms doubts the sovereignty of God. I can get pretty irate when someone tries to match me up with someone else. I find the whole scheme ridiculous, especially because the person intending to match me has little knowledge of my true character. What surprises me is that even Christians fall into this silly little game of trying to pair off all the young people in the church. Matchmaking, however, is truly a scary attempt at circumventing authority. When someone tries to match a young woman with a young man, it circumvents the responsibility of the young man to pursue and encourages the woman to step into a role that is not hers. It circumvents the authority of the parents (particularly the father) to make arrangements for the marriages of their sons and daughters. And it circumvents the sovereignty of God's timing in awaking love when He pleases. So please, don't try to match me with anyone. It is only distracting to me and detrimental to my friendships (both with the person attempting to match me, and the person with whom I've been 'matched').

A secondary topic on my mind was the simplicity of the Bible. It isn't that complicated. You read it, you find out what it says, and once you find out what it says, you are under obligation to obey it. Simple, right? But how often we ignore it, rationalize it, and marginalize it! The Bible is the Truth, plain and simple, and perhaps that's why it is so offensive. Why does the American church (I speak against the American church, because it is what I am familiar with) care more about, "What does this mean to you?" than what God actually says? Forget the hypothetical, and go with the Biblical!

Another subject which was brewing in my brain was thankfulness, which I suppose is on the mind of most Americans during the Thanksgiving season. The snarky side of me, however, was thinking of all the things I was thankful that I didn't have to be thankful for. For instance, last year at this time I was living in a cabin with no electricity, storing my food in a propane refrigerator, shopping once a month or less on a very tight budget, living with roommates, and attempting to keep the cabin at a constant temperature with a woodstove for heat. Some of those things were hard to be thankful for! It was hard not being able to listen to music at any time of the day (no electricity). It was hard to be thankful when my lettuce went bad (due to the frustrating fits of the propane refrigerator). It was hard to be thankful when I would run out of a particular item I needed or wanted and know that I wouldn't be able to shop for it for another month, and perhaps more frustrating still to be putting on weight because I couldn't eat healthily because of my budget and forced shopping habits. It was hard to be thankful that I was virtually forced to walk everywhere at times. But this year, I don't have to be thankful for those things, and I'm thankful that I have convenience. Call me snarky and ungrateful, but as much as I loved the Mission, I'm glad that I can eat healthily, stay warm (mostly), ride in a car, and not run out of hot water. But I do sometimes wish we didn't have electricity . . . sometimes :)

I could write a whole post on this subject, which occupied my brain for hours on end: the new TSA procedures. I've read a lot of mixed reviews, and heard a wide variety of experiences with the enhanced pat-downs (when did molestation become social acceptable?!) and naked body scanners (I don't care if it's 'just a line drawing.' It's mine, and you can't look!), but my overall impression is that the security procedures are unconstitutional and uncalled for. I will not say too much on this, because many more eloquent and experienced than I have already dealt with the issue thoroughly, but I will say that if I am able to return to California in January, I will more than likely be choosing to travel by train rather than plane. Where are you going, America? Just like the church that has forsaken its Bible, I fear our nation is also deserting its Constitution and founding principles. The fourth amendment had not been repealed, when last I checked.

But to end on a happier note, this November I was also overwhelmed with beauty. This is what I was blessed to see every morning of the month as I sat on my window seat for my morning devotions. Perhaps in the next few days, I shall take a picture of the drifts of snow that I am trying to be thankful for in the month of December.

"The Open Secret" by A. W. Tozer

2010-10-22T13:07:00.000-07:00

I greatly enjoyed reading this the final chapter of The Knowledge of the Holy by A. W. Tozer. It's worth printing out and reading slowly and leisurely, maybe even a few times!

~Nella Camille

When viewed from the perspective of eternity, the most critical need of this hour may well be that the Church should be brought back from her long Babylonian captivity and the name of God be glorified in her again as of old. Yet we must not think of the Church as an anonymous body, a mystical religious abstraction. We Christians are the Church and whatever we do is what the Church is doing. The matter, therefore, is for each of us a personal one. Any forward step in the Church must begin with the individual.

What can we plain Christians do to bring back the departed glory? Is there some secret we may learn? Is there a formula for personal revival we can apply to the present situation, to our own situation? The answer to these questions is yes.

Yet the answer may easily disappoint some persons, for it is anything but profound. I bring no esoteric cryptogram, no mystic code to be painfully deciphered. I appeal to no hidden law of the unconscious, no occult knowledge meant only for the few. The secret is an open one which the wayfaring man may read. It is simply the old and ever-new counsel: Acquaint thyself with God. To regain her lost power the Church must see heaven opened and have a transforming vision of God.

But the God we must see is not the utilitarian God who is having such a run of popularity today, whose chief claim to men's attention is His ability to bring them success in their various undertakings and for that reason is being cajoled and flattered by everyone who wants a favor. The God we must learn to know is the Majesty in the heavens, God the Father Almighty, Maker of heaven and earth, the only wise God our Saviour. He it is that sitteth upon the circle of the earth, who stretched out the heavens as a curtain and spreadeth them out as a tent to dwell in, who bringeth out His starry host by number and calleth them all by name through the greatness of His power, who seeth the works of man as vanity, who putteth no confidence in princes and asks no advice of kings.

Knowledge of such a Being cannot be gained by study alone. It comes by a wisdom the natural man knows nothing of, neither can know, because it is spiritually discerned. To know God is at once the easiest and the most difficult thing in the world. It is easy because the knowledge is not won by hard mental toil, but is something freely given. As sunlight falls free on the open field, so the knowledge of the holy God is a free gift to men who are open to receive it. But this knowledge is difficult because there are conditions to be met and the obstinate nature of fallen man does not take kindly to them.

Let me present a brief summary of these conditions as taught by the Bible and repeated through the centuries by the holiest, sweetest saints the world has ever known:

First, we must forsake our sins. The belief that a holy God cannot be known by men of confirmed evil lives is not new to the Christian religion. The Hebrew book, The Wisdom of Solomon, which antedates Christianity by many years, has the following passage: "Love righteousness, ye that be judges of the earth: think of the Lord with a good heart, and in simplicity of heart seek him. For he will be found of them that tempt him not; and showeth himself unto such as do not distrust him. For froward thoughts separate from God: and his power, when it is tried, reproveth the unwise. For unto a malicious soul wisdom shall not enter; nor dwell in the body that is subject to sin. For the holy spirit of discipline will flee deceit, and remove from the thoughts that are without understanding, and will not abide when unrighteousness cometh in." This same thought is found in various sayings throughout the inspired Scriptures, the best known probably being the words of Christ, "Blessed are the pure in heart, for they shall see God."

Second, there must be an utter committal of the whole life to Christ in faith. This is what it means to "believe in Christ." It involves a volitional and emotional attachment to Him accompanied by a firm purpose to obey Him in all things. This requires that we keep His commandments, carry our cross, and love God and our fellow men.

Third, there must be a reckoning of ourselves to have died unto sin and to be alive unto God in Christ Jesus, followed by a throwing open of the entire personality to the inflow of the Holy Spirit. Then we must practice whatever self-discipline is required to walk in the Spirit, and trample under our feet the lusts of the flesh.

Fourth, we must boldly repudiate the cheap values of the fallen world and become completely detached in spirit from everything that unbelieving men set their hearts upon, allowing ourselves only the simplest enjoyments of nature which God has bestowed alike upon the just and the unjust.

Fifth, we must practice the art of long and loving meditation upon the majesty of God. This will take some effort, for the concept of majesty has all but disappeared from the human race. The focal point of man's interest is not himself. Humanism in its various forms has displaced theology as the key to the understanding of life. When the nineteenth-century poet Swinburne wrote, "Glory to Man in the highest! for man is the master of things," he gave the modern world its new Te Deum. All this must be reversed by a deliberate act of the will and kept so by a patient effort of the mind.

God is a Person and can be known in increasing degrees of intimate acquaintance as we prepare our hearts for wonder. It may be necessary for us to alter our former beliefs about God as the glory that gilds the Sacred Scriptures dawns over our interior lives. We may also need to break quietly and graciously with the lifeless textualism that prevails among the gospel churches, and to protest the frivolous character of much that passes for Christianity among us. By this we may for the time lose friends and gain a passing reputation for being holier-than-thou; but no man who permits the expectation of unpleasant consequences to influence him in a matter like this is fit for the kingdom of God.

Sixth, as the knowledge of God becomes more wonderful, greater service to our fellow men will become for us imperative. This blessed knowledge is not given to be enjoyed selfishly. The more perfectly we know God the more we will feel the desire to translate the new-found knowledge into deeds of mercy toward suffering humanity. The God who gave all to us will continue to give all through us as we come to know Him better.

Thus far we have considered the individual's personal relation to God, but like the ointment of a man's right hand, which by its fragrance "betrayeth itself," any intensified knowledge of God will soon begin to affect those around us in the Christian community. And we must seek purposefully to share our increasing light with the fellow members of the household of God.

This we can best do by keeping the majesty of God in full focus in all our public services. Not only our private prayers should be filled with God, by our witnessing, our singing, our preaching, our writing should center around the Person of our holy, holy Lord and extol continually the greatness of His dignity and power. There is a glorified Man on the right hand of the Majesty in heaven faithfully representing us there. We are left for a season among men; let us faithfully represent Him here.

Call a Spade a Spade, Call God God

2010-10-12T06:18:00.001-07:00

Read the statements below. Each one says the same thing, but in different words.

"This dog has been my faithful companion since childhood." vs. "This dog has followed me around since childhood."
"Good girl! You're walking" vs. "Yay! You're walking now!"
"That park would be a perfect place for a picnic, don't you think?" vs. "That park would be an ideal place for a picnic."
"This smoothie is awesome." vs. "This smoothie is delicious."

Did you catch the differences? The first statements contained words such as "faithful, good, perfect, and awesome." The second statements instead used "follower, yay, ideal, and delicious." The second statement is always more appropriate, accurate, and precise. Why do I say that?

"Faithful, good, perfect, and awesome" are words that are attributes of God Most High. We too easily take words that should be applied to him, and only him, and apply them to experiences we enjoy or about which we are pleased. But are we really using the words accurately?

"Why do you call me good?" Jesus answered. "No one is good—except God alone." (Mark 18:10)

"You alone are good . . . " (Song, "You Alone" by David Crowder Band)

So take heed today about the words you use. What are you calling awesome, good, perfect, faithful, wise (owls aren't wise!), immortal (Elves aren't, and it's not a band from Norway), or eternal (your wait at the hair salon isn't).

What words do you find yourself using that you are using incorrectly?
Do you think this is just a matter of semantics?
What other Bible verses can you think of on this issue?

Tracts: Used, but often Abused

2010-09-28T12:43:00.000-07:00

The other afternoon I was on the phone with a cousin (I have a lot of cousins!). She lives in the Bible belt, and was relating a story about her efforts towards evangelism at her work place, a Christian tutoring centre. One of her students comes from a Roman Catholic, Iranian family. (Not the religion you typically associate with Iran, but, hey.) She wanted to give her student a tract, but her supervisor advised, "It's usually better to give a tract after you know the person, not right away." My cousin said, "I thought that was interesting. I'd never heard that before. What do you think about that?"

Imagine this scenario with me. Julianna just went to an evangelistic seminar sponsored by her church. She was convicted by the speaker, who distributed tracts to total strangers daily. She wasn't sure she had that kind of courage. One afternoon while running errands, she remembers the tracts in her purse she picked up at the literature table. While picking up a cake for a friend's surprise party, she tries to muster up the courage to talk to Sue, the woman at the bakery, about the Gospel. She can't seem to get up the nerve. While writing out the check, she slips a Gospel tract into Sue hand. "What's this?" asks the woman. "It's a tract that will tell you the good news." Julianna tried to use words that wouldn't offend, but that could still plant a seed of interest in Sue's heart. "I'd appreciate if you would read it." With her heart racing, she wishes Sue a good day and leaves the store in a hurry.

As a general rule, I think tracts are often abused better than they are properly used. In Julianna's case, what was her motive for distributing the tract? Concern, love, glory to God? Maybe a bit of those, but primarily, to help her get over her own guilt for not having the courage to actually talk to Sue.

Not everyone distributes tracts from guilt. Others distribute them from pride. They think, "Not everyone has the courage to do this, but I do, and I'm going to show them how evangelism is done!"

Some do it because they don't understand who God is and His power. They think that He needs help in bringing sinners to repentant. (Ultimately, this is also pride.) Tozer writes this:

Probably the hardest thought of all for our natural egotism to entertain is that God does not need our help. We commonly represent Him as a busy, eager, somewhat frustrated Father hurrying about seeking help to carry out His benevolent plan to bring peace and salvation to the world, but as said by the Lady Julian, 'I saw truly that God doeth all-thing, be it never so little.' The God who worketh all thing surely needs no help and no helpers.

Too many missionary appeals are based upon this fancied frustration of Almighty God. An effective speaker can easily excite pity in his hearers, not only for the heathen but for the God who has tried so hard and so long to save them and has failed for want of support. I fear that thousands of younger persons enter Christian service from no higher motive than to help deliver God from the embarrassing situation His love has gotten Him into and His limited abilities seem unable to get Him out of. Add to this a certain degree of commendable idealism and a fair amount of compassion for the underprivileged and you have the true drive behind much Christian activity today.

Although Tozer doesn't mention tracts, I think we can still say that Christians today use tracts to help "carry out His benevolent plan to bring peace and salvation to the world."

"Camille," you're probably saying at this point, "Do you have something against tracts? Can they be used properly?" No, I have nothing against tracts, and I do think they can be used properly.

What's wrong with the way tracts are used today is that Christians use them as an end, not a means to an end. Instead of being a tool, tracts are becoming the testament. Instead of a vehicle, they are the message itself.

Besides being used wrongly for the wrong motives and with the wrong thoughts of God, I also struggle with tracts because they do not lead to discipleship. If you leave random tracts in random restaurants at random cities during your random travels around the world, who will answer the questions asked by the person who might decide to pick that tract up and read it?

Picture this: what about an even more daring method of evangelism than giving a tract to a total stranger? What about befriending total strangers - tax-collectors and sinners - and taking an interest in their lives? What about picking up and living where they live, eating with them, and showing them your faith? If you do all of that, they will come to you when they are facing difficulties and hardships. They will ask you what the reason is for the hope that is within you, if only you will, "Sanctify the LORD God in your heart," and let them watch you do it. Then you have the opportunity to speak into a life. You have a platform for ministry. And if the LORD God chooses to save that person, you will already have a structure built-in for discipleship. You can say, "Follow me, as I follow Christ."

God didn't tell us to distribute tracts. He didn't even tell us to give out Bibles. He told us to make disciples. He told us to follow in the dust of our rabbi, who identified Himself with His audience and demonstrated the Gospel through His life.

That's what I call radical. And that's what I think about tracts.

So, what do you think?

Every blessing in Christ,
~Camille

What is Sin?

2010-09-20T05:41:00.000-07:00

"I believe there is scarcely an error in doctrine or a failure in applying Christian ethics that cannot be traced finally to imperfect and ignoble thoughts about God." - A. W. Tozer, The Knowledge of the Holy, p. 2

After some reflection and consideration, I agree with Tozer one hundred percent.

Yesterday in Sunday School we studied Genesis 3. Mr. Freeman, our teacher, asked us, "What is sin?" Various people answered, "Rebellion against God," and "Breaking God's laws." Our teacher himself noted that sin is largely motivated by pride (a statement supported by theologians such as C. S. Lewis and C. J. Mahaney) and desires for autonomy.

To say that one answer is supremely right and the others utterly wrong would be a mistake. The more I ponder this question myself, I have come to see that it is not one to be answered after only a second's consideration, but one that we will continually be explaining and redefining more and more as God reveals Himself to us, and we can see from His perspective how grotesque and heinous our sin really is. I believe that all the answers given yesterday - rebellion, disobedience, pride, and autonomy - are correct, but upon reflecting upon Tozer's work, I want to add another aspect of sin: sin is the result of improper and ignoble thoughts about God.

I came to this conclusion by looking at patterns in my own life. When faced with difficult financial circumstances, I worry and fret about what I can do in order to make more money to meet my needs. I think solely of myself and what I can do. This is autonomy. But at the same time while I am consumed with myself, to my shame I often begin to doubt God's providence and provision. When feeling alone in this world, I focus on selfish solutions to my loneliness instead of reminding myself of the unio mystica I have with God Most High.

This pattern can also be observed in unbelievers. Cain, after murdering his brother, became burdened by guilt and despair when God pronounced judgment on him. Knowing God's mercy through the testimony of his parents, he instead ought to have thrust Himself upon that mercy and grace. Abraham in Egypt feared for his life and lied about his relationship to Sarah, even though He had often seen God's hand of election and protection on his life. Peter, though he knew that God had sanctified all things and cared not for conformity to Jewish tradition, fell into hypocrisy. In all these cases, we see imperfect and ignoble thoughts of God.

Today, I urge all my readers to set their minds on the things that are above. Think about the only object that is everything beautiful - true, honorable, just, pure, lovely, commendable, excellent, and praiseworthy - God Himself.

Every blessing in Christ,
~Nella Camille

The Joy of Reading

2010-09-04T16:24:00.000-07:00

I haven't been in the custom of compiling book lists in the past, but right now I'm reading so many awesome books that I wanted to share some with my readers!

Recently Completed:

Just Do Something: A Liberating Approach to Finding God's Wille (Kevin DeYoung) - The subtitle of this book is, "How to make a decision without dreams, visions, fleeces, impressions, open doors, random Bible verses, casting lots, liver shivers, writing in the sky, etc." Mr. DeYoung's principles of decision-making are simple: seek the Scriptures, get wise counsel, pray, and make a decision. God's will for our lives has already clearly been revealed in the Scriptures, and it's time Christians started doing it. Infused with fascinating statistics, cultural assessments, and personal stories, this book is a must-read for all ages.

Stepping Heavenward (Elizabeth Prentiss) - I've read this book many times over the years since I was 8, and yet I learned many more things from this book. This is one of those books you have to chew thoughtfully and carefully for a long period of time. I highly recommend this book to Christian young women, but I think it can certainly be instructive to young men as well. Everyone will enjoy the honesty of this spiritual journey, following the life of a young woman through singleness, marriage, and motherhood, through good health and bad.

Still Reading:

The Pursuit of God (A. W. Tozer) - This book is composed of almost a dozen devotional-style essays on various topics of the Christian faith. I am not very far into this book, but today I was deeply convicted as I read the third essay, "Removing the Veil," in which Tozer reminded Christians that the veil in the Temple has been torn in two, but we must be careful not to sew a fleshly veil over our own hearts, lest the light shining in be dimmed by our sins and obstructions.

Up until the time I came home, I hadn't had much leisure time for reading. I thank God that my current state of health has allowed me to do little besides reading, for I feel my scholarly mind renewed and refreshed at the constant stream of literature flowing through it.

I've also been able to explore another avenue of learning I love: history. Stefan and Mamma read aloud often, and this afternoon while I was knitting I listened to them read St. George of England (G. A. Henty). This historical novel was set in medieval England, during the exciting Hundred Year's War. Although I only listened to a few chapters, it piqued my interest in history again, so I hope to be perusing some of the textbooks I purchased for my World History class in the near future.

I would also like to take this time to remind my dear readers of the best Book ever written, the most important Book ever read. Of course, I'm referring to God's Word. Today in the midst of all my other reading, I was careful to allow time for reading and reflecting on the book of Colossians. I'd encourage you, in the midst of all your reading, make sure to also read the Bible. It is truly the Book of Books, the only inspired Word, and the rule by which we must judge all other literature.

Every blessing in Christ,
~Camille

WOW Wednesday and Thursday

2010-09-02T09:02:00.000-07:00

This is a very-overdue report on Wednesday of last week, but better late than never!

To be honest, I don't remember much about Wednesday. I know it was the beach day, and that during Master's Distinctives I felt very strange. My body felt like it was asleep, but my mind was still alert. I could feel myself starting to slip out of my chair, but I locked my elbows on the seat so that I wouldn't topple over onto Bethany, who was sitting next to me. I wanted to slip out into the lobby and lie down, but I felt completely immobilized. After Distinctives were finally over, I laid down in the chair. Next thing I knew, Dylan was talking to me and someone was giving me something to drink. Someone took my glasses off, I think, and eventually they had me to the nurses' station. I was too tired to talk, and my throat was sooo dry. Eventually in the cool of the nurses' office I could talk a little bit. Finally they got me back to my room. I slept all afternoon. No beach for me; no siree!

My RD Denise stayed back from the beach, too, just in case I needed anything. That day I spent a lot of time on the phone with my parents. I was beginning to doubt if I could deal with the stress of the upcoming semester. For most of WOW week, I was completely unsociable simply because I didn't have energy to do anything.

Wednesday night we had a dorm party. I didn't want to play the games, but they made me play the first game, and it was a running game, and I didn't have enough energy to play any more after that. Then we had a dorm meeting. I wanted to fall asleep. I felt like I was having a mono relapse. It looked like God was laughing at me again. I knew in my heart I needed to go home, and Dad bought a ticket so that I could fly home on August 30th.

But before I could go home, I still had a bit more traveling to do. On Thursday I went to Master's Distinctives (which was on Restoration) and then went straight back to my dorm room to pack all my belongings, and a few things I would need for Mike and Tina's wedding, which was that weekend. By lunch time I was at the LAX airport, and by mid-afternoon I was in the air flying to Denver.

I met up with Mike at the Frontier passenger pick-up downstairs at DIA. Happiness and joy! Then while we were already in a debate about where some verse was located in the Bible, Tina ran up and pounced on us. Happiness and joy times two! =D

Friday, Saturday, and Sunday were a happy blur of good times, food, fun, solemnity, and memories. Hopefully I'll have some wedding pictures soon.

So now I'm home, still needing lots of rest and relaxation before I can attempt to do college again.

WOW Tuesday

2010-08-24T21:26:00.000-07:00

This morning I rolled out of bed at 6:30 to walk to PMP at 6:45. As usual, I was the first one there, so I sat on the side of a wall and ate an orange while waiting for my group to come. Then we drove to inner-city LA. I don't like cities. Period. Especially LA. The traffic is terrible! All the WOW groups met at EV Free Church of LA for a session on college students and the local church (second TMC distinctive). We heard from many different pastors and there involvement in local churches in Los Angeles, as well as opportunities for us students to get involved. We ate lunch outside the church. Tacos - yummy!!

After lunch we went on a brief CD-guided tour of LA. As much as I hate cities, some have really distinctive architecture that you don't see in the country.

We then had free time from 2:00-6:00. I spent some time running back and forth between various buildings, trying to figure out a ride to the airport for Thursday, attempting to make contact with some individuals, and learning how to open my mail box. (That last one is an adventure for sure!!) All the WOW groups met for dinner on Swixon Lawn for a carnival-style picnic. Some attractions were a daring man who played with fire, a dunking booth, and games.

I just returned from "WOW Group on the Town." My WOW group and a few others went to a local Chick-fil-A. (Chick-fil-A wut-wut!!! =D) Peach milk shakes are amazing!! Parker and I were excited because we both used to work at Chick-fil-A's in our various hometowns.

Tomorrow I will more than likely have a lot of free time. All the WOW groups are going to do a Beach Bash at Mandalay Bay, but I don't think my body will tolerate a long afternoon in the sun, so I'm planning on sticking around campus and hopefully working out some other office-work details and perhaps even reading and catching up on some correspondence.

Every blessing in Christ,
~Camille

A WOW Monday

2010-08-23T21:26:00.001-07:00

So today was the first week-day of WOW. My roommate Kaitlyn and I went to breakfast together this morning at the Mustang Grille, but as soon as I sat down I realised we were supposed to be at our PMP (Primary Meeting Place) in a minute. I ate my pear slices rapidly and tossed my orange and apple into my purse and ate the apple while Caleb and Gage and I walked together to PMP. Turns out we were the first ones there anyways, so I suppose we weren't truly late. From the PMP we went to our first session on Distinctives (this one was on worship) and then had a coffee break before a discussion group. Meetings occupied the rest of the morning.

"Ascribe to the LORD the glory due his name; worship the LORD in the splendor of holiness." Psalm 29:2

We mostly ate lunch together as a WOW group and then started gearing up for Valley Invasion by decorating Bethany's car. We painted"TMC" and "J-Mac Weehaw" and other random crazy phrases all over the windows. Then we were sent out on a crazy search to find the locations vaguely referred to by the clues. I don't know that I ever caught on to the gist of the riddles, but I suppose being from out of town didn't help my case at all. At each location there would be someone from TMC waiting to stamp a paper, indicating that we'd reached the correct spot.

During the end of Valley Invasion I started feeling randomly sick to my stomach. There is chlorine in the water here, which might have something to do with the problem. Fortunately we had two hours of free time between our excursion and Family Affair. I just got back from the Tatlocks, who hosted my group and another for Family Affair. I love the Tatlocks already!! They are so hospitable and sweet. I had a really great time hanging out with some of the people from the other WOW group who were at the Tatlocks with us. I finally was able to connect with Brett C., and we had a good time talking and getting to know one another. While enjoying an amazing desert, we all answered the question, "What are you hoping God will teach you this year?"

So I'm back from Family Affair now, and in a few minutes we have a dorm meeting. I hope the meeting will be short, because tomorrow is another full day and I need my rest! Tomorrow we're supposed to meet at the PMP at 6:45, because we have to leave for downtown LA to visit the LABEX camups at 7:00!

Every blessing in Christ,
~Nella Camille

Second Day of WOW Week

2010-08-23T07:03:00.001-07:00

Yesterday was the second day of WOW Week. I slept as late as I could (about 6:30) so that I would hopefully be able to participate in all the WOW events. I went to Grace Community Church with my WOW group. John MacArthur preached on Mark 8 in the main service, and Rick Holland preached on the church in Crossroads.

After church we went to a GCC family's house for a pool party. I didn't really swim; I probably would have sunk if I would have tried. The sun drained my energy very quickly. As soon as I got inside in the air conditioning I felt a lot better and my energy started coming back a little bit.

We went back to GCC for the evening service, and Dr. MacArthur preached on 1 Corinthians about the essential quality of love in ministry. Afterwards there was a patio fellowship. Who's heard of a churro? I don't even know if I'm spelling that right. It is kind of like funnel cake, or like monkey bread. In essence, it's a glorified doughnut stick with cinnamon sugar. After that our group was still hungry, so we went to the slowest Taco Bell in California for something to eat. Got home at a fairly decent hour and showered and went to bed.

Today we start studying "The Master's Distinctives" (Worship, Discipleship, Restoration, Local Church, Global Outreach) and will be heading to Santa Clarita for a "Valley Invasion," which is similar to a scavenger hunt where you have to take pictures of locations, items, and people (or something like that . . . :) ).

Every blessing in Christ,
~Nella Camille

First Impressions of College

2010-08-22T07:02:00.000-07:00

Yesterday I hopped on a plane to fly to California. Pretty crazy. I had to wake up at just after 5:00 a.m. EST in order to make it to the airport on time. My bags weighed exactly 50.0 and 49.5 pounds each (which means I can't accumulated anything before flying it all home!!!). I tried to rest as much as I could during my flights. I knew I had a loooong day ahead of me.

The adventures really started when I arrived at the Los Angeles airport. I had a voicemail from David W., who is a TMC senior who came to pick me up from the airport. Well, I listened to part of it, and then they started unloading the plane, so I closed my phone. I'd listen to the message later. When "later" rolled around, my phone would not even open my voicemail!! I called my dad - just to make sure my phone was still working - and then tried my voicemail again. By the time I got through, David was calling me back. So it all worked out in the end.

The college was forty-five minutes away from the airport, so David and I chatted most of the way there. As we were driving through the city and on the freeway, I was amazed at the sheer size of LA. Coming from Robbinsville, North Carolina, I experienced not a little culture shock yesterday. I've come to the conclusion that LA is box-ey, loud, crowded and cramped, dirty, ugly, and busy. Oh, and humongous.

When we arrived at campus, I went to check in, and then David helped me move my things up to my room. Thankfully then it was lunch time, and then all the WOW-ees (that's what they call all the incoming students. Makes me think of Brent!) had a meeting over on North Campus. By this time, I'd met up with two gals I knew were coming here as students, Brionna and Amelia. During the course of my meeting, I met my roommate, Kaitlyn. I met a whole boatload of other people too, and sadly I only remember 40% of the names. During the meetings with my dorm girls and my fellow Bible majors I got to know a few people better. After all the meetings, I was feeling dehydrated and exhausted, so I went home for "a nap," which turned into calling everyone on the face of the planet and unpacking my stuff :) I was a little late for the welcome picnic, but the heat was taking away my appetite and I wasn't hungry. By the time "the main event" rolled around, I was staring off into the distance, not really comprehending what was going on. I asked my WOW leader if I could go home and go to bed. Mercifully, she said yes.

My WOW group is composed of three freshmen and two of us crazy transfer students. Parker and Abi are our leaders. Caleb is the other transfer, and Bethany, Gage, and Dylan are the freshman. Caleb is a math major; Bethany, undecided; Gage, pre-med; Dylan . . . shoot, I forget right now. But he's from Canada and he's got a wicked-cool accent!

The culture shock aspect is weird. I'm not used to many things most college students are used to. I'm not used to cell phones, hair dryers, credit cards, cars, and late nights. Then again, I'm used to things many freshman are not: living away from home, having a roommate, going to college-level classes, and time management. So all-in-all, I'm just a weird WOW-ee.

The LORD is my light and my salvation; whom shall I fear? The LORD is the stronghold of my life; of whom shall I be afraid? Psalm 27:1

Every blessing in Christ,
~Nella Camille

Andrew Mwenda: Let's take a new look at African aid

2010-08-17T17:03:00.000-07:00

I found this speech very interesting! I heard this opinion expressed frequently while at The Master's Mission in regards to Kenya, so I'm was not too surprised by what Mr. Mwenda had to say.

Every blessing,
~Camille

How To Make God Laugh

2010-08-15T12:25:00.001-07:00

I planned to attend The Master's Mission for three months. God changed my plans, and I stayed for eleven.

Now that I'm planning to attend The Master's College this Fall, I'm wondering what God's going to do to alter my plans this time around.

"Many are the plans in the mind of a man but it is the purpose of the LORD that will stand" (Proverbs 19:21). This verse reminds me of a quote from the movie Bella, "If you want to make God laugh, tell him your plans." I know God laughs every time I try to make plans, because every time I make plans, God promptly changes them!

Please be praying for me as I fly to TMC next Saturday and embark on the new adventures God has in store for me!

Doing Hard Things for the Long Haul

2010-08-15T12:21:00.000-07:00

In the past, I’ve participated a lot in short-term relief. I put on fall carnivals at homeless shelters. I supported a gal from Uganda for almost a year through Compassion International. I participated in "Face the Facts" campaigns, donating my Facebook status to raise awareness for social justice issues. All those things are well and good; and I’m not trying to downplay what those things do to raise awareness and such, but what difference will they make in ten years? What hard things are we doing right now that will impact our world forever?

Joshua Guthrie provides a great example for us of doing something hard and making it last. He didn’t just make a temporary difference: he put wells into African villages that will supply hundreds of people with water for the rest of their lives, and the lives of their children, and grandchildren, and great-grandchildren . . . .

Providing one-time donations is great, but meeting temporal needs once often places individuals in a state of perpetual dependency. In that situation, we have made the problem worse. Instead of teaching a person to fish and so feed him for life, we have given him only one fish and left him wondering where his next meal will come from.

Don’t just soothe your conscience by making a donation to Food for the Hungry, World Vision, or LC2LC. Money is quickly spent and does not model Christ to a lost and dying world. Think about and discuss this: what can you do right now to prepare yourself for a life-time of service to the unsaved, hungry, thirsty, dying, poor, and enslaved?

What The World Needs

2010-06-25T04:40:00.000-07:00

I just wrote my shortest essay to date. In answer to the essay prompt, "What does the world need?" I wrote this statements below. The essay was written for Zinch.com, a scholarship search site.

The world needs Truth. For this purpose Jesus was born and for this purpose He came into the world—to bear witness to the truth.

The scary thing is what students my age think this world needs.

"All we need is love!" Katherine L, KS

"What the world needs right now, and forevermore is: love and acceptance." Bailey Smith, CA

"At this moment the world needs to forget about the 'Big Picture.'" Lucas rollins-Page, AZ

"The world needs you." Elizabeth Boren, TN

"In this world where violences and general assaults take place frequently, we need the warm hearts and renewed dedications of people." Seyeon J, CA

"The world needs a day off." Sarah Keokham, CA

"What the world needs now is to lighten up." Samantha N (FPO, AE)

"Aside from Ritalin (for the rushing around and the world bouncing from idea to idea, leaving no room to stop and appreciate life) and Prozac (for all of the anxiety and depression in the world), the world today needs an enormous sense of contribution." Kimberly R, TN

Only one other person had an answer that touched anywhere close to what the world really needs.

"The world needs a savior. It has always needed one, but more now that ever, because morals are corrupt,Satan is filling people with lies, and the truth will set you free, the truth being Jesus Christ." Ashley Kelly, FL

At least some people understand what the world really needs. Thanks, Ashley, for sticking up for Jesus Christ!

The Difference Between Hope and Prayer

2010-06-08T09:12:00.000-07:00

I know this is short, but it's something I've been thinking about for a while now and wanted to bring up to you all.

Ever been having a conversation with your friend, which suddenly ends with a statement similar to one of these?

"Well, I hope you get feeling better soon! Just get some rest and take the medication."

"I hope you figure that problem out and are able to make it tonight! I wish there was something I could do to help you."

"I hope the issue between you is resolved and that the situation won't be so awkward any more!"

"I hope your aunt's surgery goes well! That must be really hard, not knowing what's going to happen."

"I hope the situation in your church gets better! Hang in there."

"I hope you have a good performance at the music audition! Music is tough because sometimes no matter how much you practice, the performance itself determines everything."

Sound familiar?

I've noticed that our ungodly culture says, "I hope," all the time. The sad thing is, Christians say, "I hope," all the time, too, and oftentimes forget what they could do instead.

Hebrews 4:14-16 says this:

Therefore, since we have a great high priest who passed through the heavens, Jesus the Son of God, let us hold fast our confession. For we do not have a high priest who cannot sympathize with our weaknesses, but One who has been tempted in all things as we are, yet without sin. Therefore let us draw near with confidence to the throne of grace, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need.

Why should we merely hope when we ought rather pray?

Every blessing in Christ,
~Camille

Influence

2010-03-27T11:11:00.000-07:00

Hullo blog readers!

In the line of sharing more of what has been going on at the Mission, I would like to share with you what I recently studied regarding the Divided Kingdom. One of our assignments at the Mission is homiletics lab (that's "preaching practice" in layman's terminology). My first devotional was over Habakkuk, and my most recent one was taken from 2 Chronicles 22:10-12. I'd like to share my thoughts on this passage with you all.

And when Athaliah the mother of Ahaziah saw that her son was dead, she arose and destroyed all the royal family of the house of Judah. But Jehoshabeath, the daughter of the king, took Joash the son of Ahaziah and stole him away from the king's sons who were about to be put to death, and she put him and his nurse in a bedroom. Thus Jehoshabeath the daughter of King Jehoram and wife of Jehoiada the priest, because she was a sister of Ahaziah, hid him from Athaliah, so that she did not put him to death. And he remained with them six years, hidden in the house of God, while Athaliah reigned over the land.

This text contrasts two central women of Judah: Athaliah and Jehoshabeath.

Athaliah . . .
. . . unlawfully set her self up as king.
. . . was a coward.
. . . left a legacy of wickedness.
. . . hated and was hated.
. . . loved her own life.
. . . was ungodly.
. . . was selfish.
. . . embodied foolishness.
. . . forfeited an eternal life of blessing for the temporary glory of setting herself up as queen.

Jehoshabeath . . .
. . . fulfilled her role as a wife by supporting her husband's ministry.
. . . was courageous.
. . . left a legacy of righteousness.
. . . loved and was loved.
. . . loved others enough to risk her own life.
. . . was righteous.
. . . was self-less.
. . . embodied wisdom.
. . . made an eternal investment in the soul of another.

As different as both of these women were, they have a few things in common. (1) They both wielded great influence, and (2) both left behind a lasting legacy.

What is influence? I looked it up on Dictionary.com, which said that influence is, "the capacity of persons or things to be a compelling force on or produce effects on the actions, behaviour, opinions, etc., of others." Simply put, influence is impact.

We all influence someone. But what does this mean? What does the Bible say about influence? Here are five biblical principles.

(1) Influence leaves a positive or negative legacy that out-lasts the person influencing and the influenced. We remember influential persons based on the positive or negative changes they effected in society. We remember Athaliah as an abortive assassin (baaaaaad), but Jehoshabeath as a godly protector (good!). (Or, in the words of Sarah L., "Athaliah turned out to be a homicidal maniac!") Each one of these characterizations indicates the assertion of their influence, without which there is no legacy. And without a legacy, there is no impact or memory.

(2) Influence brings responsibility and accountablity. Imagine this scenario: If I cuss, and a child hears and repeats the word, what will happen when a godly adult hears of what has transpired? I will be blamed. Why? Because I am looked upon as a role-model and example of young children. This illustrates that my influence over young children makes me accountable to what I do or say to them or in their presence. Think of Jezebel. She incited, or influenced, her husband in his wickedness. Think also of Athaliah. In 2 Chronicles 22:3, we read, "[Ahaziah] also walked in the ways of the house of Ahab, for his mother [Athaliah] was his counselor in doing wickedly." Jezebel's corruption in her own life impacted many generations of fallen men! No wonder God judged her so strictly!

(3) Influence apart from the Spirit of God is destructive. Notice how many characteristics of Athaliah are negative. This is because she was not relying on the Spirit of God. Many times while reading the saga of the Divided Kingdom we see the phrase, "he made Israel/Judah to sin" (e.g., 2 Kings 21:11, 16). Why did some kings make Judah to sin and others led them into righteousness? I would submit that it has a great deal to do with the king's personal relationship towards God. This distorted vertical relationship always led to a corruption in horizontal relationships.

Thankfully, God is sovereign, and (4) He Himself limits and expands influence. This should be encouraging, as well as convicting. We know that God appoints righteous and wicked rulers (Daniel 2:21) and that He has made even the wicked for a purpose (Proverbs 16:4), so we should seriously stop and consider what kind of influence we have, and what God will do with our influence. This brings us to the final point.

(5) Influence rightly applied grants an opportunity for the Gospel. Jehoshabeath and Athaliah used their influence towards very different ends. Jehoshabeath and Jehoiada together provided Joash with a copy of the Torah (23:11), established his family (24:1), and restored Yahweh worship in Judah (23:16ff). Not only that, they took a stand for the royal family of Judah, ultimately protecting Jesus who was promised to come from that line (Matthew 1:1-17). Athaliah was Satan's minion; Jehoshabeath was the Messiah's protector.

Take a minute to turn these points about influence into questions to ask yourself. "Influence leaves a positive or negative legacy that outlasts the person influencing and the person influenced." Are you leaving a legacy? Which kind? "Influence brings responsibility and accountability." What will you say to God as you stand before Him and give an account of yourself to Him? "Influence apart from the Spirit of God is destructive." Are you relying on the Spirit's power in everything? "God Himself limits and expands influence." Is your influence one God will seek to limit or expand? Finally, "Influence rightly applied grants an opportunity for the Gospel." What choices are you making today that will ensure your influence leaves a Gospel-oriented impact? What are you doing to further the kingdom of God today?

What I Learned from Biblical Counseling

2010-03-23T17:40:00.000-07:00

Hullo, faithful blog followers!

I know that I said after auto mechanics class was over that I'd have lots more time to post. Well, since my last entry I've been just as busy! Our 2nd Bible exam was on March 10th, and then we had a 2nd round of homiletics labs (March 12th and 15th), a 2nd women's class test on March 16, and our 2nd evaluations also on March 16th! Cedarville and LeTourneau college groups also visited the Mission for their spring breaks, so we women were kept busy cooking and coordinating meals for them. On top of it all, I got sick with "The Plague" of horrible head colds that were going around, Tina officially moved up to the Mission, and spring break also somehow crept upon us!

My intent since January has been to write a report on what I learned from the biblical counseling classes taught by Pastors Jim, Tim, and Paul. I'm finally getting around to it now. Well, to be more accurate, I thought I'd share an answer to a test question with you over that very subject. Our most recent Bible test had twenty questions. We had all day (8:30 a.m. till midnight) to work on our tests, and most of us took almost the full time. I started my test at 8:45 a.m. and did not finish until 11:10 p.m. (The only breaks were a short lunch break, a walk around the lake with Mike and Tina, and a quick trip to church and back since it was Wednesday and we had prayer meeting.) So, here is one snip of my twenty-one page dissertation of a test! Hope you enjoy!

I found the biblical counseling class to be helpful in many respects. When deciding how to answer this question, I came up with these four specific areas which directly bear on missions settings.

First, the sufficiency of Scripture. I think this is a huge area in which both missionaries and counselees need to be convinced. If we believe that Scripture is sufficient, which it certainly is, we will realise that no specialists are needed, but that “ordinary” people can change based on what we learn from God’s word. Some passages to help teach the sufficiency of Scripture are 2 Timothy 3:10-17, Acts 20:17-27, 2 Peter 1:3-21, Hebrews 4:11-13, 2 Corinthians 3:5, John 17:17, and Colossians 2. The sufficiency of Scripture is important to understand in a family context in particular because the Bible has so much to say about families and what a godly family looks like.

Second, the practicality of the Bible, which means that it speaks to all peoples in all ways and manners of life. This doctrine helps us understand that even though people everywhere are different, the Bible still speaks to their situations. Culture, ethnicity, language, and occupation all have ways of separating people, but really the only thing that makes any person distinct from another is his relationship with God. Thankfully, the Bible addresses remedies for people in right relationships with God as well as those in broken relationships with God. Ephesians 4, 5, and 6 are great resource chapters in helping us address all sorts of problems which arise in families.

Third, the hope given in the Bible. The biblical counseling class helped me realise that the Bible alone gives hope by providing a practical method for growth and change. The first and foremost hope-giving change is conversion, which turns old, dead bodies into new living ones (2 Corinthians 5:17 and Ephesians 2:1-10). A passage I’ve come to greatly appreciate is 1 Corinthians 6:9-11, which reminds me that the church is made up of ex’s: that is, ex-adulterers, ex-idolaters, ex-homosexuals, ex-thieves, ex-greedy people, ex-drunkards, ex-partiers, and ex-swindlers who have all been radically changed, being washed, sanctified, and justified by Jesus Christ and indwelt by the Spirit of God! More passages which promise hope and change are Ephesians 4:20-32, Colossians 3:5-17, and 1 Corinthians 15:9 and 10. On specific hope through Christ, see John 1:16-17, John 6:6-69, Hebrews 1:3, Hebrews 4:16, 2 Peter 1:3-4, Colossians 2:3, Colossians 2:6-10, 1 Corinthians 10:13, Philippians 4:12 and 13, and 1 Timothy 1:12-17.

Finally, the proper view of self. The popular notion that you have to love yourself is strongly refuted in the Bible. In fact, a biblical view of self involves denial (Mark 8:34-38)! Our greatest concern should be Christ’s magnification and honour, not our own (Philippians 1:20-26). We are commanded to follow His example of humility (Philippians 2:1-11). We should love one another, and honour our brothers and sisters in Christ, not ourselves (Romans 12:10). We have to realise that anything good in us is from God, because our own righteousness is like excrement-covered trash (Philippians 3:8, Isaiah 64:6).

Every blessing in Christ,
~Camille

Recap of January and February

2010-03-03T08:10:00.000-08:00

Hello world!

No doubt my blog readers have been wondering where I have been. Well, it's a long story that can be summed up in two words: auto mechanics. Yes, Camille the Non-technical decided to take auto mechanics classes at The Master's Mission. The class started shortly right after Thanksgiving break and just concluded two days ago. I had been used to having Bible class every day and afternoon classes two days a week, and then started having auto technical every morning along with Bible and practicum every afternoon on top of womens' technical. (If you do the math, that's seven classes a week turned into seventeen!) That was a big change for me. After coming back from Christmas break, life just got really crazy. We had Biblical counselling class for two weeks, our friend Tina who lives in town practically moved into our cabin (wut-wut!), I was asked to play for a wedding and other special occasions, and we went three month shopping. I wish I could upload some pictures, but for those of you who are Facebook friends with me, you can check out my winter albums.

On the line of other exciting news, two of my best Mission friends got engaged to each other! That's right, Mike and Tina finally decided to take things to the next level :) I'm so excited for them! It's been a blast to hang out with them both on the mountain and on crazy weekend road trip adventures.

Well, that's been life recently. Auto mechanics finished on Monday, so I have my life back. Right now Cedarville has a college group visiting to help us with some construction projects. They have been very fun to hang out with and get to know.

More updates on what God has been teaching me will follow soon!

Every blessing in Christ,
~Nella Camille

Zechariah - The Day of Small Things

2009-12-24T05:12:00.000-08:00

Zechariah – The Day of Small Things

Then he said to me, “This is the word of the LORD to Zerubbabel: Not by might, nor by power, but by my Spirit, says the LORD of hosts. Who are you, O great mountain? Before Zerubbabel you shall become a plain. And he shall bring forward the top stone amid shouts of ‘Grace, grace to it!’ ”

Then the word of the LORD came to me, saying, “The hands of Zerubbabel have laid the foundation of this house; his hands shall also complete it. Then you will know that the LORD of hosts has sent me to you. For whoever has despised the day of small things shall rejoice, and shall see the plumb line in the hand of Zerubbabel.

“These are the seven eyes of the LORD, which range through the whole earth.”

These two parallel prophecies have a number of similarities and differences. The first prophecy is delivered to Zechariah by “the angel who talked with [him].” This angel appears numerous times throughout the book: four times in chapter 1, once in chapter 2, thrice in chapter 4, et cetera. This angel often is in the place of either giving the word of the LORD, or in the place of explaining the visions and prophecies to Zechariah.

These prophecies are facets Zechariah’s fifth vision, which is called his vision of the Golden Lampstand. (There were eight visions in all, which he beheld in a single night!) The vision begins by the angel who talked with Zechariah waking him out of sleep, and asking, “What do you see?” Zechariah saw a lampstand with seven lamps atop it, and two olive trees as well. Based on the following content in verses, we can understand the relevance of these items to the prophecies in verses 6 through 10.

The lampstand and olive trees seem to be instruments used for the Temple ministrations, and the significance of them appearing in Zechariah’s visions is that the LORD was telling His people that the Temple would be rebuilt. The LORD assured Zerubbabel that in spite of the opposition he faced, God would bring His word to pass. The LORD also wanted to make sure that He, not Zerubbabel, received ultimate credit for the work that was done for His name. This is why the LORD said, “Not by might, nor by power, but by my Spirit, says the LORD of hosts.” The work was ultimately accomplished, not because of, but in spite of human strength and skill.

The LORD Himself promised that the insurmountable tasks Zerubbabel faced would become insignificant. He said, “Who are you, O great mountain? Before Zerubbabel you shall become a plain.” The LORD seems to delight in overcoming obstacles. Consider the many things He had done to this point.

1. He providentially used all Abraham’s moral mistakes and still protected the Jewish nation.

2. He providentially protected Moses from babyhood to old age.

3. He providentially freed the Israelites from Pharaoh’s oppression.

4. He providentially sustained the wilderness wanderers for forty years.

5. He providentially turned the word of Balaam into a blessing instead of a curse.

6. He providentially granted power to the judges of Israel.

7. He providentially anointed David’s house because David was a man after God’s own heart.

8. He providentially gave Judah good kings who prolonged their stay in the Land.

9. He providentially sent righteous young men like Daniel into captivity to preserve His truth.

10. He providentially exalted Esther in a place of authority so that His people would be saved from Haman.

11. He providentially placed Ezra in the service of Cyrus.

12. He providentially burdened Nehemiah’s heart for the people.

13. He providentially worked through scared prophets, like Jonah.

This providential working continues into the New Testament.

14. He providentially impregnated Mary with Jesus, His Son.

15. He providentially granted a way of escape for Jesus and His family from Herod.

16. He providentially designated the disciples to be the early church’s leaders.

17. He providentially chose missionaries such as Paul, Barnabas, John Mark, Silas, and Luke.

18. He providentially cared for the Apostle John when he was exiled to Patmos.

In all these stories, God overcame the impossible. He worked in spite of sinful, rebellious, godless men. In the words of the angel Gabriel, “Nothing will be impossible with God” (Luke 1:37). Nothing has ever been, nor will anything ever be, impossible for God. He makes mountains into plains, impregnates virgins, protects infants, frees slaves, and quickens the dead. What a mighty God we serve!

My guess is that the returned exiles often drew encouragement from the story of the enslaved Israelites who lived during the time of Moses and Pharaoh. Both overcame continuing obstacles. Just when conditions would seem to improve, another hindrance would present itself. Pharaoh changed his mind countless times, promising to let God’s people go, and then calling them back. Likewise, the returned captives would seem to be making progress, only to receive more bad news and experience setbacks. But with God, nothing is impossible! Whoever has the smallest modicum of faith can accomplish the unthinkable for God (Matthew 17:20)!

The second part of this prophecy was also meant to give the LORD’s children great hope. God promises that even the skeptics, those who “despised the day of small things”, and those who thought God should move faster, would rejoice when they see the finished product of Zerubbabel’s work.

Many times in my own life, I know that God can move as slowly or as quickly as he desires, but I want Him to move my mountains quickly, not slowly, stone by stone. These kinds of times require special patience and perseverance. Right now, my mountain is my support level for TMM. Over Christmas break, I need to raise an insane amount of money. How am I going to do it? I don’t have a clue! But God has already been faithful in the small things, in moving mountains one stone at a time. I rest confidently in His ability to move whole mountains at once!

We must not fall into the traps the Israelites were falling into. We must not assume that God cannot or will not move our mountains. We also must avoid the trap of thinking that God does everything spectacularly and simultaneously. Patience often must have her perfect work in us. Do not despise the day of small things. Do not give way in impatience.

Goats and Passover

2009-12-15T05:59:00.000-08:00

I could smell it before I saw it – the rank smell of rumen contents, bile, and blood. After only one whiff, I buttoned my work coat up over my nose. Then when I could see it, all laid out on the tables in the bay, I could tell that the rigor mortis of death had long ago taken hold. The muscles of the stomachs were tense and unfeeling.

The vet began explaining things to us as we congregated ‘round the tables. He discussed the diseases he had found in the first goat, and the symptoms of those diseases manifested in the animal’s pre-slaughter condition. He droned on and on, and I could listen, but not look. My stomach turned, and I swiftly walked up the ramp and into the fresh air in the open garage door at the back of the shop.

I planned to stay out there for only a few minutes to catch my breath, but when I tried to move my feet, it felt as if they had sunk into the concrete and planted themselves there. I couldn’t budge.

A moment or two later I heard a friend of mine softly approaching from behind me. “Hey, bud,” he said. “Come here. Come here,” he repeated as I instinctively pulled away. “No one expects you to be okay with this,” he whispered. He put his arm around me. A lump rose in my throat. I had half expected he, of all people, would understand my sensitivity and reticence. “Want to do something a little easier?” he asked. “We have to treat and cure those skins.” He pointed at the white blood-stained skins hanging on a rack about ten yards away. “Think you could do that?”

I nodded. Baby steps.

He went into the shop and shortly returned a moment later with the salt. I poured one handful over the skin before I couldn’t handle it any more. I took off at a quick walk towards the lake. “You okay?” he called after me. “Yeah,” I called back, trying to hide the choke in my voice. I just wanted to be alone.

I sank down onto the dock and hugged my knees to my chest and started sobbing silently. I was frustrated – with everyone participating, with the cavalier attitude of some, but mostly with myself; I wanted to know how to prepare animals, but I just couldn’t!

A few minutes later I heard, “Cam?” I turned around and saw my friend standing on the bank. “We’re having class upstairs now, I think.” I rose and shambled up the hill, looking down with my hand stuffed deep in my pockets. He went to wash his hands, and I waited outside the garage.

Out of the mist I saw three figures coming towards me. I intently studied a dirt stain on my walking shoes. Two went away into the garage, but before I knew it, Uncle Paul was standing in front of me. “You know about Passover?” he asked. I said, “Yes, sir,” or tried to; the words caught in my throat. “Come here, honey,” he said, opening his arms. “It’s okay. Cry. Just cry. Let it all out.” I hugged him back tightly at first, and then the tears came. I sniffled and snuffled, wishing eternity would come. “It’s okay,” he kept saying over and over. “Is this the first time you’ve seen this?” I nodded into his shoulder.

“At Passover the families would keep a lamb in their house for a week, just long enough to love it and care about it, and then they would have to kill it and put the blood over the door,” Paul told me. “This really shows you how awful sin is.”

He was correct – absolutely correct. My sobs of frustration and shock turned into sobs over the horrendous nature of sin and the price of atonement that had to be made.

That is what Jesus did for me, I realised with shock. Jesus was my Passover lamb. He died, experiencing something horrible and awful. His life was like a candle, suddenly snuffed out – alive one moment and gone the next.

I will never think of sin in the same way after yesterday afternoon. I hope I never lose this sensitivity towards sin.

And We Thought Bush Driving Was Bad . . . !

2009-12-11T14:04:00.000-08:00

I just read this in The True Story of John G. Paton, and it reminded me how thankful I am for our [crazy] roads!

Twenty-six years ago, the roads of Australia, except those in and around the principle towns, were mere tracks over unfenced plains and hills, and on many of them packhorses only could be used in slushy weather. During long journeys through the bush, the traveller could find his road only by following the deep notches, gashed by friendly precursors into the larger trees, and all pointing in one direction. If he lost his way, he had to struggle back into the last indented tree, and try to interpret more correctly its pilgrim notch. Experienced bush-travellers seldom miss the path; yet many others, losing the track, have wandered round and round till they sank and died. For then it was easy to walk thirty or forty miles, and see neither a person nor a house. The more intelligent do sometimes guide their steps by sun, moon, and stars, or by glimpses of mountain peaks or natural features on the far and high horizon, or by the needle of the compass; but the perils are not illusory, and occasionally the most experienced have miscalculated and perished.

[Taken from pp. 238 and 239]

In Everything . . .

2009-11-28T11:56:00.000-08:00

. . . give thanks!

♪ Count your blessings, name them one by one! ♪

This Thanksgiving I'm thankful for . . .

DAD and MAMMA. Need I say more? They are pretty awesome! My dad is such a man of the word, and my mamma is really great at taking care of all my maternal needs!
IAN and STEFAN, my brothers. They have been a lot of fun to hang out, learn, and grow with!
LUCY. She is my awesome roommate. We haven't even known each other for a full three months, but we're already close as peas in a pod! She's like the big sister I've never had! She's an awesome cook. She gives great advice. We do almost everything together!
UNCLE PAUL and AUNT BETTY LOU. Their work at TMM has literally changed my life, in more ways than one! Paul's Bible knowledge and Betty Lou's practical knowledge have greatly stimulated my mental capacities in recent days! I hope that when I get to retirement age, I will still have as much passion and energy in serving God as they do!
KEVIN, RACHEL, and ANNABELLE. They let me keep peanut butter at their house. They give me rides. Annabelle is amazingly cute. How much more awesome can you get?! :)
BRENT. He may be quiet and shy, but he's sweet, respectful, and helpful. He is going to make an awesome husband and missionary some day because he is such a servant!
MIKE. He makes me laugh, acts like my big brother, studies with me, and shares my passion for music. He doesn't think he can sing well sometimes, but his way of singing doesn't attract attention to himself, it rather points straight to God. And he has a random way of getting things stuck into your head like, "What-what!"
TINA and KAYLA. These two girls are awesome friends to one another and awesome friends to me. I'm so glad I was able to meet them at college night at the beginning of the year!
THE MASTER'S MISSION. Let's just say that TMM is responsible for uniting all these people together, so it must be awesome! TMM is beautiful, and it represents a huge part of my life right now.
JILL. She's such a support, encouragement, friend, servant, helper . . . is there anything she isn't? I feel like Jill has been with me every step of my life - in high school, while she was at BBC, during my last years or high school and first stint at college classes, and even now when I'm at TMM we keep in contact as much as we can.
AUNT LINDA. She's my constant counselor and encourager. She's an example to me in the way she worships and serves God in her day to day activities. She pours her life out for other people. She uses all her resources for the help of others instead of her own satisfaction. She's taught me the importance of having Scripture always on the tip of my tongue, which comes from having it always in front of your eyes.
SETH. He's been my friend for years now. In the good times and the bad, Seth has been a reminder for me that God is good, all the time, and that all the time, God is good! He's been a great prayer partner through thick and thin!
GARDEN HEIGHTS BAPTIST CHURCH. Everyone at GHBC is my brother or sister. You have been so supportive of me: in prayers, finances, and love. I miss you more than any one group in Erie! Special thanks to Ruth S., Cheryl, Brittany S., and all the others who have written me on a regular basis.
CHICK-FIL-A TEAM at SUMMIT TOWNE CENTRE. I miss you all second-most of all groups in Erie! Jonathan, Mike, Susan, and Frank are awesome managers. I've had some awesome times with you. I also really miss Miss Carol, Sharon, Collin, Jose, Stephanie, Ali S., Ellie A., and Max. You are all in my thoughts and prayers. Eat mor chikin!!

There are so many more people I could thank God for and thank for their influence in my life.

Wednesday through Friday, 18-20 November

2009-11-20T05:58:00.000-08:00

Arose at 6:30. Washed dishes after breakfast (bagel with cream cheese) and walked down to the shop with Lucy. Devotions over the 2 Kings 19. Bible class was interesting - finished the whole book of 2 Corinthians! Rode with Rachel to the laundry and Aunt Betty Lou taught several of us how to use the wringer washer.Ate lunch at Rachel's house. Went home and washed the dishes, swept the house, etc. Made potato soup and brought it down to the shop for Lucy's dinner. (She was taking a road construction test all day.) Then went home and got ready for church. Rode with Kevin and Rachel. Went to bed almost as soon as I got home.

*~*~*~*

Arose at 6:30. Ate oatmeal. Walked down to the shop. Devotions over 2 Kings 20. Intense Bible class again - reviewing the year so far. Went to to the laundry to show Sarah how to use the wringer washer. Ate lunch at the Randalls: yummy chicken tortilla enchilladas. Walked back to my cabin and rushed to the laundry for women's class. Stayed and talked with Aunt Betty Lou for a while. Decided to go to her house that evening and help her and Abby with a project. Ate dinner with Lucy and Brent - leftovers of the pilaf, Cucy specialty, soup, and French toast. They went to college night while I went to the Teasdales. Stayed there until 8:30. Abby gave me a ride home on her four-wheeler. Went to bed shortly after arriving home.

*~*~*~*

Arose at 6:30. Oatmeal for breakfast again. Walked to devotions alone. Studied 2 Kings 21-22. Another Bible class review. Watched a documentary on the Scriptorium from 10-12:30. Worked out with the group and learned how to do a Turkish press. Ate nachos for lunch. Went to Paul and Betty Lou's for the afternoon and s-t-u-d-i-e-d!! (2:00 till 5:30.) Ate dinner alone since Lucy and Brent were at Dan and Kris's for dinner. Showered after dinner and read Things to Come for quite some time. Went to bed at around 8:45. (I've found it's better to go to bed early and get up early rather than trying to sleep in on Saturdays. My body cooperates better.)

Monday and Tuesday, 16-17 November

2009-11-18T05:52:00.000-08:00

I thought I'd give you a little insight into our day-to-day routine at The Master's Mission. Hopefully I'll be able to do this for every day this week.

Arose at 6:30. Made oatmeal for breakfast. Left the house at 7:30 with Lucy and walked to the shop. Devotions from 8:00-8:30. Josh R. is teaching devotions this week on 2 Kings. Learned about the fall of Israel to Assyria in 760 BC. Talked to my dad between devotions and Bible class at 9:00. Bible class over the resurrection chapter, 1 Corinthians 15. Stayed at the shop during men's technical class. Read This Poor Man Cried and reviewed Bible class notes. Left at 12:30 for kettlebell workout. Three sets of ten on three swings. Then more sets of ten. Two sets of fifteen. Did not finish the workout because I was feeling dehydrated.

Lucy and I made our "Cacy special" for lunch - mac 'n' cheese, hot dogs, and ramen noodles. (Sounds weird, tastes awesome!!!) Stayed home in the afternoon, cleaning, reading, playing the piano, etc. Wrote my report on This Poor Man Cried. Made mushroom pasta pilaf for dinner using a recipe from Cheryl. Rode with Lucy and Brent to Abby's house at 7:00 for a movie night. Watched Emperor's New Groove and Sahara. Got home around 11. Fell asleep right away.

*~*~*~*

Arose at 6:30 again and showered. Woke Lucy up at 7:00. Ate oatmeal for breakfast again. Washed the dishes. Left early and carried my laundry down to the wash room. Then finished the walk to the shop. Devotions over 2 Kings 18 about Hezekiah and Sennacherib's psychological warfare. Bible class finished 1 Corinthians and started 2 Corinthians (chapters 1-5). Stayed at shop during men's tech again. Typed my bookreport on This Poor Man Cried. Worked on a power point presentation. Went to the Meyers' for lunch: fettuccine alfredo, salad, rolls! Then walked to the office and checked my mail. Received a package from Andy K., our German visitor! Walked to the laundry room and threw in my load for the week. Called my parents on the phone there. Women's class from 3-4:30. Walked home. Read some of my new missionary biography, The True Story of John G. Paton. Ate peanut butter, banana, and honey sandwich since Lucy was gone (=D). Lucy came home shortly after I ate. We looked at Andy K.'s pictures together. Lucy invited Brent over at 6:30 and we had a good time talking about Bible things. Lucy made peach coffee cake. Showered at 10:30 and went to bed at 11.

Hospitality

2009-11-13T07:31:00.000-08:00

One of my favourite things about having my own house is being able to invite anyone over whenever I want. Lucy and I love inviting missionaries over to eat with us. Last night we were privileged to eat dinner with Jon, Almi, Tanya, Christie, and Josh Johnson. We were able to ask them some questions that helped us know what to focus on during our training.

What is your greatest need at your station? We have a difficulty with the Kenyan Christian children. When the families become Christians, they realise the importance of education, so Christian parents are the most likely to send their children to boarding school or high school. At the schools they are peppered with unbiblical philosophies. By the time they return to Sekenani, they have made ungodly commitments in boyfriend-girlfriend relationship. Travis Sawyer, our ministry partner, would love to start some sort of educational centre where the children can receive education in a setting similar to homeschooling. All the teaching would be in English. The school would focus heavily on science experiments and teaching the children their mathematics tables. We would also love to have a Christian Kenyan teacher help us in this endeavour.

So your children are homeschooled, correct? Yes. Wisconsin does not have many requirements for homeschoolers. They require a certain amount of hours to be taught of six subjects every year, and we have to sign a paper saying that we have done that. Jon's mother actually has the authority to sign for that, so Almi does not even have to send any papers back and forth over the ocean!

What kind of paper work do you have to have? Your kids? Do you become citizens of Kenya? We have a lot of passports, entry visas, drivers licenses, et cetra. Thankfully since our children are our dependents they do not have as many as we do! Every time we go to Nairobi we spend a lot of time working on our paper work. We always seem to be behind! The government often takes such a long time issuing the necessary cards and permits that when we finally receive them they are often almost expired. Things like drivers licenses are only good for a few years, unlike the eight year licenses we have in the States. Passports also are not good for very long.

What sort of childrens work do you do, Almi? Not much; I used to teach Sunday School, but now Laura Sawyer has taken over that ministry.

How has your furlough been? Each one is different! This one was good, but we are excited to get back to Kenya. The trip is long, but we can't wait to see Almi's family in Germany and return to the work in Kenya.

How often are you able to go grocery shopping? Once every two months or so. The trip is four to six hours, depending on road conditions. Once in Nairobi we not only have to shop - we also have to negotiate prices. The best way to shop is by price comparisons in order to get the best quality and value.

For what were you unprepared? Jon has talked to Clarence and Dan and some of the other instructors about technical areas which need to be expanded. Almi said she was unprepared for cooking for twenty people at a time. She suggested that we volunteer to help cook for the large crowds that visit the Mission in the springtime.

Two recent additions to the program are vet class and kettlebells. Do you work with small animals at all? Do you work out with kettlebells? We think vet class is a great idea! We did not have animals until recently when we bought a cow. We're thinking about raising rabbits, though. As prices rise, it's becoming more practical overseas and in the States raise animals for food. Pay attention in vet class! It will serve you well since it is becoming increasingly more necessary. We do garden extensively, and Travis has helped by introducing some techniques that keep the moisture in the soil better than what we had been using before. We grow a lot of fruit trees, and the baboons are constantly trying to raid them!

As far as kettlebells, we don't personally use them. Travis does. But we think Jack is doing a great job adding in the work out sessions. Missionaries do need to be strong and keep themselves in shape - especially when lugging carry-ons around the airport! Travis used to fill his girls' back packs with rocks and have them run laps around the living room to get them in shape two months before furlough so they would be able to carry their own bags in the airport.

Hope you enjoyed learning more about the Johnsons and their work in Sekanani and Massai Mara!

~Camille and Lucy

Plans for the Future, Part 2

2009-10-24T06:44:00.000-07:00

“Time flies when you’re having fun,” everyone always says. I’m convinced that time flies regardless of whether one is having fun or not! The past month has gone by so quickly. I wish I could say that all of it was fun, but to be honest, it wasn’t. But God is good all the time, and He always has a plan!

On the fun side, my parents were able to visit me! I had a fantastic time with them. I was happy that they were able to meet the friends I have made while living here.

My time here so far has certainly been perspective-transforming, because I was completely unprepared for this training program! The weekend when we all took a camping trip together exposed me to my inadequacy. But God has been at work in my life! He’s been changing my reasons for being here. While I came wanting to receive missions training, my bigger reason for coming was to receive the college credit offered. Because of that, the first few weeks of my stay were difficult because I viewed myself as somehow set apart from everyone else here. While everyone else here was a candidates, I, on the other hand, was a college student.

Since the first day I got here, staff and candidates alike made it plain that their objective was to convince me to stay here for the full eleven-month program as a candidate. I initially resisted, because Camille the College Student had plans to accomplish. But in the past few weeks, I’ve been letting go of my plans and asking God what His plans are. The more I considered, the more I was convicted that God wants me to minister here in this place, and finish this training so that I will know how to better serve Him for the rest of my life. So I started praying, trying to find out what God’s will was: if I should really stay, or if I should go home at the end of three months after all. I have becoming increasingly more convinced that God wants me here. During the course of my parents’ visit, they gave me permission to stay here. That is what I am working towards now. Now I am Camille the Candidate.

Since I know that it is God’s will for me to stay here, I am confident that He will provide all my needs. He has already provided for me overwhelmingly. He takes care of the birds and the flowers, and I know He will take care of me! My estimate is that staying here will cost about $5,000. I am unsure as to where those funds will come from, but what is a few thousand dollars to a God who owns the cattle on a thousand hills?

An Experience With Death

2009-09-27T15:09:00.000-07:00

I just received word that a friend whom I have known since I was eight fell asleep yesterday: she fell asleep on earth, and woke up in the arms of her Saviour.

Death always makes me jealous, for some reason. I have a strange obsession with heaven. I want to pass on from this world to what my soul was made for, which is eternity. I want to be with God, complete in His presence, free from sin, forever. I can't wait till the time when "I'll fly away!"

In times of separation, I always turn to 2 Corinthians 4 and 5. Please read these verses below.

But we have this treasure in jars of clay, to show that the surpassing power belongs to God and not to us. We are afflicted in every way, but not crushed; perplexed, but not driven to despair; persecuted, but not forsaken; struck down, but not destroyed; always carrying in the body the death of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus may also be manifested in our bodies. For we who live are always being given over to death for Jesus' sake, so that the life of Jesus also may be manifested in our mortal flesh. So death is at work in us, but life in you.

Since we have the same spirit of faith according to what has been written, “I believed, and so I spoke,” we also believe, and so we also speak, knowing that he who raised the Lord Jesus will raise us also with Jesus and bring us with you into his presence. For it is all for your sake, so that as grace extends to more and more people it may increase thanksgiving, to the glory of God.
So we do not lose heart. Though our outer self is wasting away, our inner self is being renewed day by day. For this light momentary affliction is preparing for us an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison, as we look not to the things that are seen but to the things that are unseen. For the things that are seen are transient, but the things that are unseen are eternal.
For we know that if the tent that is our earthly home is destroyed, we have a building from God, a house not made with hands, eternal in the heavens. For in this tent we groan, longing to put on our heavenly dwelling, if indeed by putting it on we may not be found naked. For while we are still in this tent, we groan, being burdened—not that we would be unclothed, but that we would be further clothed, so that what is mortal may be swallowed up by life. He who has prepared us for this very thing is God, ho has given us the Spirit as a guarantee.
So we are always of good courage. We know that while we are at home in the body we are away from the Lord, for we walk by faith, not by sight. Yes, we are of good courage, and we would rather be away from the body and at home with the Lord. So whether we are at home or away, we make it our aim to please him. For we must all appear before the judgment seat of Christ, so that each one may receive what is due for what he has done in the body, whether good or evil.
Therefore, knowing the fear of the Lord, we persuade others. But what we are is known to God, and I hope it is known also to your conscience. We are not commending ourselves to you again but giving you cause to boast about us, so that you may be able to answer those who boast about outward appearance and not about what is in the heart. For if we are beside ourselves, it is for God; if we are in our right mind, it is for you. For the love of Christ controls us, because we have concluded this: that one has died for all, therefore all have died; and he died for all, that those who live might no longer live for themselves but for him who for their sake died and was raised.
From now on, therefore, we regard no one according to the flesh. Even though we once regarded Christ according to the flesh, we regard him thus no longer. Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come. All this is from God, who through Christ reconciled us to himself and gave us the ministry of reconciliation; that is, in Christ God was reconciling the world to himself, not counting their trespasses against them, and entrusting to us the message of reconciliation. Therefore, we are ambassadors for Christ, God making his appeal through us. We implore you on behalf of Christ, be reconciled to God. For our sake he made him to be sin who knew no sin, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God.

These verses have a lot to say about death and the death-like quality of life we now live on earth. While we might not be forsaken, we are persecuted. While we might not be driven to despair, we are nonetheless perplexed. We are here, living amongst the transient things that we don't want or need, longing for the eternal things which are out of our reach.

We constantly bear witness to the necessity of Jesus' work of redemption through our death-like state of life. We are said to "groan" in this tent, longing that our transient nature would be swallowed up by the eternal.

I feel the weight of these emotions every time I learn of a death. I think, "That person is no longer groaning. He or she is rejoicing, in the presence of God of very God; worshiping, adoring, glorying in His presence. I desire that!"

Paul fueled those desires he felt into a motivation for evangelism. Re-read the final two paragraphs to understand how he accomplishes this. He describes the Christian's desire for life eternal and explains how our living deaths point a dying world to Christ. He describes the change that has taken place in us through reconciliation: we were old creatures, now we are new. This mystery has been committed to us to pass on to others. That makes us ambassadors of heaven on earth. Because of this, we ought to constantly be appealing to others to seek reconciliation with God through the means provided in the Word of God.

Are you an ambassador? How has your experience of death impacted your appeals to others?

"The Man Who Never Lost An Hour"

2009-09-26T07:22:00.001-07:00

[Originally written as a report for a class at The Master's Mission]

Five Pioneer Missionaries covers the lives of David Brainerd, William C. Burns, John Eliot, Henry Martyn, and John G. Paton. Of all these missionaries, the most interesting to me were David Brainerd and Henry Martyn. They were remarkably similar in many respects. Obviously, both were missionaries, both died young from tuberculosis, both earned high honours in their academic careers, both translated portions of the Bible into various languages, and both fell in love but never married before their deaths.

David Brainerd is probably a more familiar name to most Christians today, so I decided to write my report on Henry Martyn. He was saved while in college. Even before his conversion, he was described as “the man who never lost an hour;” he did nothing by halves, and when he was dramatically changed by Christ, his energy was diverted from academics to spiritual growth. He came in contact with Charles Simeon and the diary of David Brainerd, which encouraged him to pursue missions.

After being ordained, he obtained a post as a chaplain in the East India Company. He was assigned to minister in Dinapore and Patna. His friend said of him, “He went forth to preach the Gospel to the heathen, and it was his fixed resolution to live and die amongst them. When he left England, he left it wholly for Christ’s sake, and he left it forever.” This single-minded devotion characterized all of his life. He wrote of himself before he went to India, “I have hitherto lived to little purpose, more like a clod than a servant of God; now let me burn out for God.”

He certainly did burn out for God! Many factors contributed to the “heat” or fire in his life: paganism, official duties, lack of real spiritual response, opposition from Europeans and Indians, his imperfect mastery of Hindustani, rejection, poor health, a move, disagreeable partners, and exhaustion. Eventually he was forced to leave India because of his poor health. He then went to Persia in order to perfect Arabic and Persian translations of the Bible.

Those who met Martyn in Persia described him as cheerful, prayerful, enthusiastic, scholarly, intelligent, and agreeable. Keep in mind – this was after he’d undergone great spiritual opposition while serving God in India! While he burned out for God, he did not allow any root of bitterness to grow in his heart. He focused wholly and fully on God’s sovereignty in spite of his circumstances. He allowed God to continue to use him to the very end. When he finished his translation of the New Testament into Persian, he traveled with his precious Bible in order to have it approved for publication. After two meetings with the Shah, it was indeed published!

Martyn knew he was dying and decided to make on final attempt to return to England to die there. He never finished his journey. He died half-way to Constantinople. However, his life had many far-reaching implications. His Bibles greatly impacted the Hindu and Muslim communities, and his life served as a great example and encouragement to future missionaries. He believed that God was powerful, real, and mighty, and this knowledge he faithfully applied to his life. The biographer wrote this about his life: “Above all, Henry Martyn has left us an example, not an example of the perfect man, but of what God can do with a very imperfect man who takes God seriously.” This quote encouraged me and reminded me how God works through ordinary people who offer themselves up to God to be used and who vows never to waste an hour of life that can be lived for God.

What I Learned About Chickens

2009-09-12T15:21:00.000-07:00

I had the craziest adventure ever last night! Lucy, our roommate, came home after men’s technical and said to Alexis and I, “Oh, we’re supposed to pack overnight bags and meet at the shop at 1:30. Jim said something about camping.” Lucy said we were going to spend a night in the woods, and that this sort of thing would help us prepare in case we were ever really evacuated on a mission field. I started getting excited. I’ve never truly been camping aside from back-yard camping. I grabbed a pillow, two blankets, the hatchet, a long sleeved shirt, my sweater, a cup, a bowl, a spoon, two granola bars, Scrabble, a lighter, my Bible, and other miscellaneous things. Thirty-five or so of us all met, and then the singles went up the mountain, and the families went down the mountain. We parked the vehicles and we singles hiked down to the waterfall while the families hiked up.

We gathered wood, kindling, moss, and twigs to burn. Once we got fires going, more staff arrived with dinner. I almost died. The staff had live chickens, ten or so. The chicken’s feet were banded together, so we held them with their heads falling down near the ground. All the wives asked their husbands for axes, machetes, Kabar knives . . . whatever. I didn’t even look at my chicken. I knew there was no way in the world I could kill it.

Barb started talking about how to kill a chicken. You snap the band around it’s feet after laying it down on the ground, wings outstretched and holding it down with your feet on the wings. Then you grab it’s head and hold it and saw the knife over the jugular. Heather killed her chicken first, and it started kicking her, so she jumped aside and the chicken jumped up and started running around, head completely severed, lying a yard away, eyes still blinking. I think everyone screamed, and someone went to go get the chicken after it stopped. Everyone was laughing, but I started crying inside. There was no way I could kill that chicken I was holding. The thought disgusted and revolted me.

Barb verbally walked Heather through the process of gutting the chicken, putting one’s hand inside from the bottom (I think you had to make another cut to do that) and pulling out the guts. Feet came next. Then Rochelle killed her chicken. I stopped watching after that. I stood somewhat apart, looking at my chicken. No way in the world . . . .

The guys had hiked back to the cars to get rice and pots and pans. Mike came out of nowhere, completely scaring me. “You okay?” he asked. I shook my head emphatically: no! I told him I could not kill that chicken. “In the military training I went through there were things I thought I couldn’t do, but I always found out there were things in me I didn’t know where there. You’ll find that inside of you,” he said. “But I don’t want to find that inside me!” I protested. He had to leave then, and Shari (who’s an ex-marine and now a police officer) came over and started “working on me.” I was so frustrated. No one else seemed phased by such a horrible means of killing. Shari and Barb continued to try to talk me into killing the chicken.

By this time, everyone else had killed her chicken. I said I thought, maybe, if only Barb and Shari were there I could kill my chicken. So everyone left. It was just me, Barb, Shari, and the chicken. I couldn’t bring myself to cut the jugular. Shari did more than I did. I was sobbing the whole time, vowing to never eat any part of that chicken. It was horrible. Then I had to pluck my chicken of it’s lovely black and brown-flecked feathers. I had to break its neck off, and cut it in pieces.

The rest of the evening was fine. Everyone ate chicken and rice, except for me, who only ate rice. Jack made some amazing chai tea, too. After dinner we roasted marshmallows and talked around the campfire. I didn’t talk much. I was still torn up over the chicken ordeal. Lucy had set up the tent we had borrowed from Jack. It was just big enough for us. Lucy laid down a rubber mat on her side, and I laid down my thick fleecy blanket. By 11:00 p.m. we were under her unzipped sleeping back, cozy as beans in a pod.

We woke up about three times in the night. Lucy kept getting colder and colder. Pretty soon, she had her sweater, my sweater, and the sleeping bag wrapped around her. I just had a small blanket wrapped around my feet, and the blanket I was sleeping on had to stay down to keep the floor warm. I wasn’t cold at all until around 6:00 in the morning, I think, despite the fact I had no blankets.

We woke up at around 7:00. Jack made Lucy coffee, and we ate granola bars for breakfast. By 9:00 I was home in my cabin, enjoying what now seems to be civilization!

Craziness aside, this experience did teach me something. As everyone was trying to coax me into killing that chicken, I thought about the fact that I’ve eaten chicken all my life and never thought of how anyone ever killed it. “Ignorance is bliss” for sure! I also thought about how humans in general react when confronted suddenly with “out of sight, out of mind” issues, like chicken-killing. Sometimes we treat our sinful natures that way. We shove sin out of our minds, ignoring how cruel and disgusting it is to God. I also thought about how poverty, abortion, and slavery end up in the same boat. Because we do not experience the misery associated with them, we forget that they really exist. My prayer is that, like chicken-killing, God will open my eyes to things I tend to forget.

What To Do After God Calls

2009-09-02T06:54:00.000-07:00

I just read this post my dad made. The thoughts were excellent. I hope you all find this useful as well!

"I Will Go"

2009-09-01T04:57:00.001-07:00

Today Aunt Linda popped in a Steve Green album while we were driving somewhere. I'd heard this song ("I Will Go") several times before, but it really struck me again as I listened to the words. Here they are:

Give me ears to hear Your Spirit
Give me feet to follow through
Give me hands to touch the hurting
And the faith to follow You

Give me grace to be a servant
Give me mercy for the lost
Give me passion for Your glory
Give me passion for the cross

And I will go where there are no easy roads
Leave the comforts that I know
I will go and let this journey be my home
I will go
I will go

I'll let go of my ambition
Cut the roots that run too deep
I will learn to give away
What I cannot really keep
What I cannot really keep

Help me see with eyes of faith
Give me strength to run this race

I will go Lord where Your glory is unknown
I will live for You alone
I will go because my life is not my own
I will go
I will go
I will go

I was struck with the biblical accuracy of this song: Jesus calls us to follow the hard road; He warns us that we will have no home; He calls us to spread His glory to the uttermost parts of the earth.

For me, to "go" is what I am doing now - going to The Master's Mission to prepare myself for missions service to God in the future.

What does it mean for you to "go"? Are you going?